Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood's line-up of sleek and deadly killers gets some serious bolstering by the armored Officer and the all-important tubby guy with a beard. Finally a character for me!

As a relatively tubby guy with a beard, I often find myself forced to pick a sleek and sexy character in multiplayer games, and that only reinforces my negative self-image. Enter the Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood Blacksmith, a character I can really identify with. He stalks relatively silently through the streets of Rome, face turning red from trying to quiet his breathing. The only sign of his passage is a trail of sweat droplets, leading to a large man slumped against an alley wall, panting furiously. As you stop to laugh, he hits you with his hammer.

The Officer is an exclusive pre-order bonus from Best Buy. I'm still not clear how we'll obtain the Blacksmith. I'd suggest codes on specially-marked packages of bacon. Mmmm, bacon.

The image above comes from an Ubisoft email newsletter, lovingly passed along to us from Ursus-Veritas, lord of the dance.