D Tier: Pray for them
Crow (Destiny 2, 2017)
They call him The Crow for god’s sake. Destiny 2‘s most recently minted Guardian, formerly known as Uldren Sov, Awoken Prince, and rebel without a cause, would be just as much at home in a John Hughes movie as he is sulking about in Bungie’s loot shooter. It’s not just that his skin’s the color of pale lavender-infused milk and he’s got a mop of black hair that makes him look like Edward Scissorhands with a perm. The Crow also can’t stop talking about how unjust the universe is, and how he died that time, and how maybe the righteous jocks in the Vanguard are just self-serving and full of shit. Literally you will be trying to land headshots on alien bugs who worship the Darkness to punch the latest objective on your Destiny 2 time card and he will be like, “Look at it…like an animal twisted in wire.”
