This Monkey Really Loves Instagram

Hello! Today we ignore the freakers, watch a monkey surf the web, discuss how Yoda talks, ask “What is Rage 2?” and hope for more platformers starring pigs. It’s Morning Checkpoint!

Great Kotaku Content From The Past Week

Like most weeks, Kotaku was filled with some great stories. Here are a few of my favorites!

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Maybe one day Olimar will get powerful enough to force Nintendo into finishing Pikmin 4.

Hey, Sony Bend (developers of Days Gone) I will never call them freakers. Stop trying to make freakers a thing. It will never be a thing.

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This is one of the most interesting stories about an MMO I’ve read in some time.

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Stupid dances, silly costumes, and new weapons aren’t worth crunching over. Actually, nothing is worth crunching over. Game studios, figure your shit out.

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Tweets!

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I can only hope this leads to some high-quality monkey content on the internet. Monkey blogs, Twitter accounts, subreddits, etc. Maybe their own version of the internet, complete with their own annoying YouTubers and streamers?

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More platformers starring pigs, please.

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Awkward.

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Some Good Comments

I remember years ago my mom, who LOVES (she credits the Sims with keeping together when she was unemployed during the Recession) built herself a whole ass storyline concerning the Goths and the absence of Bella. It pretty much came down to her Mortimer killing her and doing away with her body because of some sick attraction he had with her. When she spurned his advances he did away with her, also to try and keep her from telling her mother who had already caught on. She said it was at this moment of thinking all of this up, she needed to stop playing it for a little bit. She hasnt played in about 5 years.

-LJ909 from “Fans Theorize That Sims Alien Abduction Plotline Is Just A Cover Up

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I remember playing The Sims 3 with a few friends. We all shared the same world and would play our household separately. So you would come back and discover that, for example, your friend had moved or become friends with your son. One time my wife in the game started flirting with one of my friends and eventually she left me and he married her. We stopped playing the game after that happened.

Ok, since someone absolutely has to do it, it might as well be me.

As a huge Star Wars fan, I have to tell you that your headline is wrong. Yoda would actually say: “Finally block, Yoda can”.

-Indoril Nerevar from “Block, Yoda Can Finally

As a Star Wars nerd, this is the type of correction I can really get behind.

Hey, I have this problem too and it drives me up. The. Fucking. Wall.

However I have found a solution that stopped him from coming to my house full stop - I deleted him from my current world. I went into his household and deleted him. (I also moved my family in and redecorated lol) He never showed up in that world again!

-Myste from “Leave My Sims Alone, You Damn Dracula

Future vampire films are going to be much shorter and less exciting. Folks are just going to start canceling and deleting vampires.

There was a part in Phantom Hourglass where you had to yell into a mic to get a discount...I had to do that while on a car ride with my dad...

-Steamedcarpet from “The Strange Things Nintendo Asked Players To Do To Play Its Handheld Games

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Parents across the world, throughout time, continue to regret buying kids and teens that game or console you wouldn’t shut up about because they continue to do shit like this. I did this shit too with other games and consoles. So many parents are so damn patient with us.

Trailers & Videos You May Have Missed

“What is Rage 2?” is a question I feel like a lot of people want answered.

Your Overwatch Daddy is here and ready to explain some stuff.

I know people who get REALLY angry about Dragonball GT and start to yell about how it isn’t canon and how bad it is.

50 years from now, as humanity survives on rafts floating across the flooded plains of the United States, we will still get Minecraft updates.

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About the author

Zack Zwiezen

Kotaku Weekend Editor | Zack Zwiezen is a writer living in Kansas. He has written for Gamecritics, USgamer, Killscreen and Entertainment Fuse.