Mario Kart 8 got some new stuff today in a DLC update. The thing we were all most excited for, by far, was getting to play as Link in Mario Kart. A little too excited, by the looks of it.
https://kotaku.com/link-is-now-in-mario-kart-and-he-brought-a-sword-1658354893
Let’s be honest, we all knew this was going to happen. Prescient Mario Kart players saw it coming so clearly they even drew a picture of it:
This is what Mario Kart 8 online is going to look like tomorrow. #VroomVroomHyaaah pic.twitter.com/0j4Qgsu2Tn
— Ben Bertoli! (@SuperBentendo) November 13, 2014
The predictions were all too real. Once I logged into Mario Kart 8’s online versus mode, everywhere I looked there was another Link. In front of you. To the left. To the right. Look behind you, and there he is again.
https://vine.co/v/OiLBVuTvhUI/embed/simple
Here a Link, there a Link. Everywhere a Link Link.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aet3N8RmINg
Even if the Links only make up a third of the total race, you’ll still find yourself completely surrounded by Links:
Too many Links makes Yellow Yoshi cry.
But the thing is, who doesn’t want to play as Link right now?
I’ll admit, I bought into the hype.
https://kotaku.com/oh-my-gosh-nintendo-gave-link-a-motorcycle-1646727878
https://twitter.com/embed/status/532949321885700096
https://twitter.com/embed/status/532949614748770305
https://twitter.com/embed/status/532949672055566337
https://twitter.com/embed/status/532951746239537152
It’s like we’re all jostling over who gets to use the best controller, and who’s gonna get stuck with a Wiimote. Except the controller is Link. Which is sort of disturbing to think about, actually. Link is primarily the protagonist of epic-length single player adventure games, and there’s a reason for that. His identity is perfectly designed to mesh gracefully with a single player’s personal identity
https://kotaku.com/how-i-learned-links-real-name-1605969226
Link is “a gathering point for many aspiring heroes, a point people can fixate on but also see themselves reflected in.” And there can only be so many heroes in a single story before it starts to get weird. Players on the Mario Kart 8 subreddit started to feel weird pretty quickly:
“The gang of dead-eyed heroes.” Wow. That is not an image I want to associate with Link, for sure.
I can’t come out and proclaim: Don’t Link and drive. Nobody can. But let’s all remember to Link in moderation.
Lead image via Simon Parkin
To contact the author of this post, write to [email protected] or find him on Twitter at @YannickLeJacq
