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Theme Park is Back, and it's Ready to Fuck You Over

Illustration for article titled emTheme Park/em is Back, and its Ready to Fuck You Over

Bullfrog's Theme Park is one of the greatest management games ever made. It's return, courtesy of rights-holders EA, should be a cause for celebration. It's not.


The game is on iPhone. Which is...OK. I mean, SimCity is on iPhone and works pretty well, there's no reason Theme Park can't do the same. Only, it looks like hell. The rich, sprite-based aesthetic of the original has been replaced with lifeless polygons, robbing the game of much of its charm.

Making matters far worse, though, is the fact it's a "freemium" game. And one that's taking the piss. The game is built around the concept of levels, with players unable to build rides and attractions until they've reached a certain level.


So far so freemium, but USA Today reported that levelling up through play is slow, and many of the best rides are only available by paying for them. So, what, you pay $5 for a ride? Nope. Try $60, which is what a "Skull-Train roller coaster" will cost you in the game's premium "tickets".

$60! For one ride.


Theme Park on iOS is an expensive, slow-moving experience [Games Blog]

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They released a subscription version of Tetris recently. Surely it can't get much worse than that.