The Year In Patch Notes [Updated To Version 1.02]

2016 was a fine year for gaming at launch, but over the course of the past 12 months various updates and bug fixes have made it even better. Here are some of the year’s finest patch notes. Can you tell which games they are from?


Before we jump into the notes for this year’s update, keep in mind that year end patch note compilations rely on the writers listening to reader feedback, so if you know of some bugs that have been patched or new features implemented that deserve a spot on the list, tell us in the comments.

Update Version 1.02 — 12/30/2016, 10AM ET

Following last night’s accidental full server wipe, the following changes were applied in an emergency patch.

  • Everybody docked at Jaques Station has retreated to a safer distance

  • Attempting to stand inside an ally will gently nudge the players apart

  • Drug chemical effects are modulated by body size. So elephants need a lot of beer to get hammered; squirrels not so much.

  • Germany no longer allowed to pull Turkey into their faction after they have capitulated. No fun allowed.

  • You now get a warning popup when you try to sunder your own mind.

  • Minor Text Fixes

Update Version 1.01 — 12/29/2016, 7PM ET

We’ve made the following updates based on reader feedback:

  • Fox run animation blocked after face plant land solved

  • Adjusted poise values across the board. Poise is now more effective for heavier weapons and armor.

  • Removed Herobrine

  • Zoroastrians and Messalians can now seduce their close family members

  • Fixed issue whereby a noblewoman in red would sometimes follow Geralt everywhere he goes.

Update Version 1.0 — 12/29/2016

  • Fixed issue with player becoming dismembered while still alive.

  • Fixed an issue that was resulting in player characters being dismounted while moving underneath certain fixtures such as bridges and archways.

  • Fixed issue whereby body parts would sometimes remain suspended in mid-air after an enemy exploded.

  • Fixed Donut NPCs Glitch – After downloading this patch, PC players will no longer see hilarious hordes of Donut people roaming the streets. Only a regular number of Donut people should now be seen on the streets.

  • Lunar Jaina’s legs will no longer separate from her body on endgame score screens.

  • Children looking for discarded toys in the trash will no longer find themselves “discarded.” They should no longer become invisible upon completing the interaction.

  • Sheathing and unsheathing a weapon should no longer cause the game to crash.

  • Fixed a bug that allowed players to acquire the GKZ-45 Mk 3 from the Mystery Box while another player is riding the dragon with that weapon equipped.

  • Fixed AoE spells that were causing splash damage to caster. As hilarious as it was to watch newbie wizards blow themselves up ultimately it was decided that this is not conducive to a welcoming environment.

  • The Samurai Cooking animation has been tweaked so that the sword is sheathed correctly.

  • While wearing the Zebra Underwear or Zebra Underwear (No Stockings), and entering Dye interface with the combat stance turned on will no longer cause a graphical glitch with the sorceress’ body.

  • Child prisoners in Dark Fortresses immediately become hostile, making rescue missions impossible - resolved.

  • Tippy Toe from Squirrel Girl’s ‘Tippy Toe’s Itty Bitty Bow’ unique now critically and brutally strikes when summoned. Don’t let the bow fool you.

  • Ivern can no longer be flagged as AFK if he farms the jungle for too long without interacting with anyone else.

  • Fixed a vocals bug on “Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo” by Rick Derringer where vocal guidelines weren’t appearing correctly.

  • Feeding – creatures now have their own diet, based on planet and climate. Feeding them correctly will yield different results per species, such as mining for you, protecting the player, becoming pets, alerting you to rare loot or pooping valuable resources.

  • Cards drawn by Giant Toad should now animate correctly

  • Fixed a bug that caused the McCree bot to Combat Roll into the well on Ilios.

  • Fixed various typos in the Lost Things zone.

  • Fixed - A weird NPC face appears in Assassin’s Creed 2 Sequence 1, Memory 1.

We are currently monitoring the comments section of this post for further issues, and will update periodically based on user submitted fixes and changes.


Update: Version 1.02 now live on public test website. Submit any bugs or fixes to the comment section below.


Darmok eats Challah at 12Nagra

So... “Feeding – creatures now have their own diet, based on planet and climate. Feeding them correctly will yield different results per species, such as mining for you, protecting the player, becoming pets, alerting you to rare loot or pooping valuable resources.” is a feature that had to be patched in, even though we’ve been doing this in Neopets on a 56kb connection for years?