The Week in Evil DLC [Update]

Illustration for article titled The Week in Evil DLC [Update]

Downloadable content. Everyone hates it—but everyone buys it. Yes, even you in the comments, smart guy. Here's a look at the latest package of extensions and pre-order bonuses designed to crowbar the last dollar out of your wallet. Can you still respect yourself if you buy it?

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Saints Row the Third: Enter the Dominatrix

Available: In the Fall.
Price: Unknown, but a bargain at any price.
What You Get: The straight-up delivery on the April Fool's prank everyone waved at dismissively. An alien kidnaps the leader of the Saints and traps them in a virtual reality simulation of Steelport. Inside the Dominatrix, you will experience, according to the original release (assumed to be a joke) "Mind-Bending Telekinesis, Really Really High Jump, Really Really Fast Sprint, Shiny Blue Force Shield, and Shiny Blue Fireball Projectile-of-Doom."
Why It's Evil: For making us think this was a joke. Saints Row is a riotous eff-you to convention in its main presentation. With physics-warping powers, this should be a trip.
Evil Score: 1/5. Lowest evil score ever assigned by this short feature. I don't know if creating the extension is ThinkGeek-style fan service, or if they had plans to all along, but the execution is pretty solid.
Update: Just to be clear, this is a product all to itself; you will not need to own Saints Row the Third to, uh, enter the, um, Dominatrix.


The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim—Dawnguard

Available: This summer
Price: Also unknown
What You Get: Frost elves? Crossbows? Bethesda will not say, except to say we'll find out more at E3, when whatever this is will be annihilated by the dragon shout of actual new games announced there.
Why It's Evil: Wait, did you say this was an Xbox 360 timed exclusive? FFFFFFFUUUUUUS RO DAH
Evil Score: 3/5, for the timed platform exclusive. God damn you Microsoft and your deep, deep pockets!


DISCUSSION

calebharris01
Caleb Harris

Timed exclusives arent that bad, you didn't here PS3 people complaining about not getting Shivering Thrones, oh right, that's cause Oblivion use to be an Xbox and windows exclusive. As with Morrowind. Skyrim is their first real blockbuster success, (Yes, their previous installments were really good, and awesome, but did not even get sales of Skyrims magnitude) They have really strong ties with Microsoft, and xbox live pretty much pays for us to get that early. It's not entirely fair, but that's what you get when you have a subscription based online platform. Steady maintenance, updates, and bonus's. And of course things that should be free like Netflix etc.