To get the hardest achievement on the Xbox 360, Marcus Fenix had to do more than just kill a few Locust. He had to get his hands dirty. He had to put in some time.
Those 100 points don't come easy.
The Achievement, Seriously 3.0 may well be the hardest Achievement to get on the Xbox 360—the hardest one that hasn't been rendered impossible by server shut-downs and glitches—because it requires such dedicated world-saving that the overall toil could take him years to complete.
To gain this Achievement, he'd need to reach rank 100, a rank earned through dedication in his mission and in his competitive contests (we call them multiplayer). But reaching 100 would be easy compared to what he'd have to do to earn all his Onyx medals.
The Onyx medals would be tough. He could kill his enemies with a pistol a hundred times and he'd get just a bronze. Five hundred would just get silver. He needed 6,000 pistol kills for that Onyx.
And that was just one Onyx medal. Seriously 3.0 would require him to get all of them. How much? The Epic Games forums had the daunting, unofficial tally: 6,000 kills with the Lancer, 6,000 with the Hammerburst, 6,000 with the Retro Lancer, 6,000 with the Gnasher Shotgun, and 6,000 with the Sawed-Off Shotgun.
That too would not be enough. He'd have to execute 6,000 enemies (including 500 nemeses), and take 1,500 enemy leaders captive. He'd have to participate in 30 Gears of War 3 events and be an MVP in competitive combat 500 times. He'd have to play at least 4,000 of those matches and win 3,000 of them, holding the enemy side to no wins in a multi-round match at least 2,500 times.
He could not be weary or sloppy. He'd have to score 6,000 headshots, 6,000 kills with heavy weapons, 6,000 with explosives and 6,000 specifically with weapons found on the competitive battlefield. With a sharp eye he'd have to "spot" 12,000 bad guys, kill 3,000 with fire and destroy 1,000 grenades. He'd have to kill 1,000 enemies while holding a captive. He'd have to win 500 rounds of Capture the Leader and never be taken captive in 1,500 of those matches (but he'd have to capture 1,500 opposing leaders).
He'd have to be slightly kind, reviving his downed allies 1,200 times and assisting them in their kills in competitive combat at least 5,000 times. In Capture the Leader, he'd have to save a captured leader 1,200 times, making sure to try that style of competition 3,000 times.
He'd have to spend the most time in cover in a match 600 times, perfect the reloading of his weapon 25,000 times.
Rest would still not be an option. He'd have to compete in King of the Hill 3,000 times and Warzone in another 3,000; the same for Execution and Team Deathmatch. He'd have to be the last man standing on his team 3,000 times. He'd also have to get the first kill 3,000 times.
The Seriously 3.0 warrior would have to fight the Horde. He'd have to beat all of its 50 waves at their Master difficulty; conquering 2,000 waves of that Horde during his career. He would have to start a base 500 times, build 1,000 fences, turrets or what have you and earn $5,000,000 while completing 100 mid-Horde challenges.
If all of this seemed easy to him, he'd be a madman and presumptuous. There's more. He'd have to finish Beast mode at Killer difficulty, knocking through 600 waves overall, chomping through 3,000 fences, turrets or what have you and reviving or healing his pals 600 times. He'd be killing 1,100 people, earning $1,000,000. He'd have to unlock the chance to control the most beastly beasts 75 times.
He'd have to re-fight his war, for points. In Campaign Arcade mode, he'd need to earn 7.5 million points and be the top point-getter of his party 240 times. He'd have to hit his max multiplier 100 times. He'd have to play that Arcade mode 500 times overall. He would be expected to finish one of his campaign's chapters 240 times, ripping through the whole campaign on its hardest, Insane mode at least once—maybe that twice, because he'd have to do it on Arcade. Oh, and he'd have to manipulate object in the campaign 2,000 times.
He would just have a ton to do, including stomping on bad guys' heads at least 3,000 times.
But at least he'd have an advantage if he was or pretended to be a she, because he'd (or she'd) have to fight as a woman in multiplayer 1,000 times.
Then and only then, our hero would have Achieved Seriously 3.0.
(Thanks to the guys at the Giant Bombcast for pointing out on this week's episode how tough this Achievement is. Good luck to all those Gears of War 3 gamers who are trying to get it.)
You can contact Stephen Totilo, the author of this post, at stephentotilo@kotaku.com. You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, and lurking around our #tips page.