In which I spend five minutes with absolutely no idea what's going on. Well, four minutes. Then I die.
Oblitus, developed by Connor Ullmann and published by Adult Swim Games late last month, is a procedurally-generated 2D side-scrolling roguelike. That means that every time you play it, the landscape changes, your goals shift about; basically nothing is quite the same twice. This makes an already difficult game even more so. And that's why I die around the four minute mark.
Meanwhile, on the Oblitus Steam page, it says this:
Test your limits against a brutal and mysterious world as Parvus, a curious warrior with no memory and a heavy burden. Raise your spear and cast ancient spells as you battle hostile creatures and towering bosses in procedurally-generated 2D landscapes that are both beautiful and dangerous. Answer the call. Break the cycle. Change your destiny.
The store page also features several quotes from press outlets about the game, including one calling it a 2D Dark Souls. Well no wonder I suck at it.
The First Five is the first five minutes of a game with light commentary. Once the five minutes are up, so are we.