Have you ever done something so colossally stupid in a video game that you almost wish you had been drunk and/or high just so you could use that as an excuse? I have.
There’s a specific map in Blizzard’s new-ish MOBA Heroes of the Storm called “Tomb of the Spider Queen.” The conceit of the level is that you and your four teammates must try and gather gems dropped by little spider monsters whenever you kill one, then deposit these gems at a turn-in location. Once you’ve collected enough, you summon very big spider monsters that help you attack the enemy team’s defenses.
Normally, then, it’s a good idea to try to stay alive and hold onto the gems you have until you successfully turn them in. Or you could do what I did during a recent game:
I was playing Leoric, the big skeleton dude from Diablo that the above clip centers on. Late in the match, I walked into a team fight, made it out in one piece, and then...turned back around and walked right into my own death.
Let’s just zero in on the exact offending moment and marvel at it in all of its glory.
Heading into a fight in which you’re outnumbered is already a serious rookie-level mistake that someone like me, who’s played almost 800 matches of Heroes of the Storm at this point, should know better than to make. The icing on the noob cake here is that I had forty four gems by the time I died. Forty four gems! That’s almost enough to summon a round of spiders all on my own.
I guess I could try to justify my own actions by saying that we were two levels ahead, and Leoric is one of the beefiest, hardest-to-kill characters in Heroes right now. But I still deserved to lose every single one of those gems.
GG, me.
To contact the author of this post, write to yannick.lejacq@kotaku.com or find him on Twitter at @YannickLeJacq.