The Day the Dorito Shell Tacos Made Kotaku Nauseous

Illustration for article titled The Day the Dorito Shell Tacos Made emKotaku/em Nauseous

We get a bunch of weird things in the office, especially because we share the editorial space with our sister sites, like Gizmodo for instance. Today, Taco Bell brought Gizmodo a stack of boxes filled with a dozen tacos each. But these aren't just any tacos. No. These tacos are wrapped in a Dorito chip shell.

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The stench of cheese and clogged arteries has never been greater in our NY headquarters. And with that, let's start this open thread in which I take over for Mike who has been taking over for Kirk.

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  • Breakfast is essential, guys - No, seriously, it is. The main reason being that it's so deliciously delicious. Who doesn't like an excuse to eat starch and sugar in the morning? If you want something on the slightly healthier side, there's always the option to cook your eggs inside bell peppers. Or something.
  • Apparently honeybees have personality that parallels ours - Researches have found that honeybees show behavior that suggests thrill-seeking. Basically, they want to go on adventures. In the words of Cyndi Lauper, "Bees - they want to have fun. Oh bees just want to have fun." Wait, that's not right. Anyway, as long as wasps don't get any more personality traits, I think we'll be fine.
  • Brazilians rescue beached dolphins - I love dolphins. They're unlike any other sea creature (read: mammal). It's also heartwarming to see that these people responded so quickly to help out. I would definitely not be one of the people standing around and capturing video footage, though. I'll be there for you, dolphin friends. And one day, I'm sure you'll save my life, too. Or take me for an awesome sea adventure. Either/or.
  • 25 pictures of Ryan Gosling's beard - Ok, so, yes. He's handsome, and you will have to suffer through this female-edition of off topic for this one entry. But admit it, you think he's handsome, too. Although, I don't agree with the number 1 selected image. It's just kinda weird to me.
  • The world's chillest dog - Look at him. Look at him standing on those cans of beans like he does it every day (he might - he's the world's chillest dog). He's so cool he's like, "I'm standing on your shoulders. OH WAIT, now I'm on a watermelon!" Oh, you. There's balance in this one.

And I'm out folks! Have a good weekend.

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DISCUSSION

So I just got back from Boston, and I realized: I hate cities. They depress me more than anything on this little blue shell of misery and despair. They're just... horrible. In a place of so many souls, I never feel more alone than when I'm in a city, it is the strangest sensation. It is as if I was put into a bubble in the middle of a stadium of human filled seats, all facing away from me.

I'm glad to be back now, to Southern New Hampshire. It's nice here. We have large towns, like Nashua, and you can get everything you need in them, but people actually are kind most of the time.

In other news, I'm craving female companionship lately. It saddens me that I'm such a pathetic being that the prospect of finding a female outside of a video game scares me. Any advice in that regard? What an awful question. I just am hopeless in this pursuit, and others make it seem so simple. I get invested in one girl, ask for her number, text her, call her, get rejected, then swear off women for a year and move on. It'd just be nice to feel wanted, ya know?

Anyway, that's my... Really sickeningly depressing post of the day. I'd like to substantially apologize for it.