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That's Not How Breasts Work, Ryse

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Yes, most games have never been great at depicting realistic jyggle physics. It's not the best situation, but at this point, many of us are used to that. The breast physics on Ryse, though? I don't even know what is going on there.

Spoilers for Ryse follow/in the video above.

You'd think though that, given how much the new generation of gaming—and Ryse in particular—focuses on graphical refinement and physics, we'd have breast physics figured out by now. Apparently not.


Nevermind how scantily-clad this woman is, too—though she is supposed to a goddess, so that might explain the attire a little bit.

What makes this scene even better/worse is the context: Marius, as many game protagonists before him, watches his family die. Naturally this angers him and he wants to seek revenge—but then later on, this lady explains to him why exactly his father was killed. It's supposed to be an emotional scene, but damn, I'll be honest, the only thing I could focus on while the scene unfolds is how oddly the breasts are moving—you can see what I mean at around 1:30.


Welp. Next gen has failed us so far when it comes to breast physics. What about penis physics, I wonder?