Teenagers Try To Play Contra, Fail Spectacularly

Watching today’s teenagers fumbling around with a game that was second nature to gamers nearly three decades ago is heartwarming, in an evil old bastard sort of way.

The latest retro gaming video from the REACT YouTube channel is all sorts of cathartic for the aging gamer tired of being schooled by relative youngsters in today’s fast-paced competitive online games. Next time my nephew comes over, logs into my Titanfall character and begins effortlessly slaughtering the opposing team from the other side of the map, I’m going to break out the NES for a little retribution.

Special thanks to the REACT folks for not including the clips from five minutes later, when the teens figure out exactly how to play and finish the game one-handing while taking selfies and chatting on... whatever it is teens chat on these days, dammit.

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The Father of Modern Laziness

“kids are stupid. They can’t play a terrible game. Back in my day our games were ugly and hard and read like poorly translated stereo instructions. Games today are crap.”