The Chipotle burrito — a massive, suppository-shaped bundle of vaguely Mexican things, weighing approximately five tons. Most people could not eat a single one in three minutes. Competitive eater Matt Stonie makes it look easy.

Takeru Kobayashi, famous as the six-time winner of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, is appearing in Toronto for a pre-release stunt for Donkey Kong Country, in which he and the game will evidently have a banana-eating contest.