Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Stoutland!
Average Height: 3’ 11”
Average Weight: 134.5 lbs.
First introduced in Generation V
Finding a babysitter is hard. Or maybe it’s very easy? I have no idea. I don’t have babies that need sitting. However, if you are looking for a babysitter and you don’t mind taking a gamble on your children’s wellbeing, you could hire a Stoutland. Yes, it’s just a big, majestic dog and not a human being. But look at that mustache. That’s a ‘stache you can trust.
It might seem weird, but according to Pokedex entries found on Bulbapedia, in the Pokemon universe Stoutlands are sometimes used by parents as babysitters. It’s probably cheaper. Instead of paying some teenager $50 just toss the dog some treats at the end of the night.
Stoutlands have incredibly thick and soft fur. In fact, this wise dog has been known to find people lost in the mountains and save them from harsh weather by wrapping its beard around them. I don’t want to get lost in a blizzard, but I’m very into the idea of spending a cold night wrapped in a soft Stoutland beard. That sounds very cozy and lovely. Maybe some hot cocoa as well? Mmmm... that sounds nice.
It might not shock you to learn that Stoutlands are very proud of their mustaches. I totally get it. If I had a mustache that amazing I’d be proud of it too. Among other Stoutlands, its social standing is determined by how long and thick its mustache is compared to others. Just like humans.
- Stoutland sounds like a fancy beer that tastes fine and has cool commercials, but it’s too expensive and most folks just buy more of something cheaper instead.
- I’m guessing the first parents who let this dog babysit their kids did it by accident. They left, not knowing the other one had left, and got back a few hours later and realized that they had accidentally left their kid alone all day. But then they saw the dog, remembered how smart and wise it is, and came up with a story.
- “No, no... we totally planned to leave our son with our dog. Yes, totally. You should do it too! It’s a great idea.”
“Manifesting a sport where bigger Pokemon kick Shelgon around like a soccer ball”
Screw Pokemon Unite, give me this Pokemon game. Rocket League but with Pokemon. I’d play that.