Spoink Will Die If It Ever Stops Bouncing

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Spoink!


Spoink Details

Type: Psychic

Average Height: 2‘04“

Average Weight: 67.5 lbs.

First Added In Generation III

Sometimes, Pokemon do cruel or creepy things to others. Then sometimes, the world does something cruel to a Pokemon itself. Spoink is one of those creatures who has been cursed by the Pokemon universe. They must always bounce. Forever and ever or they will die.


According to Pokedex entries from numerous games, Spoink’s heart only beats when it bounces. If it stops it dies. Now, according to Bulbapedia, this isn’t entirely true. They point out that some anime appearances of Spoink show it not bouncing. I say, Bulbapedia is just covering up a dark piece of lore. I think that it can stop bouncing for a bit before the heart completely stops, but has to start bouncing again after a few minutes.

Illustration for article titled Spoink Will Die If It Ever Stops Bouncing

BUT who do you trust? Me, a dude who barely plays these games and only watched the original season of the anime OR a vast website filled with super fans and tons of data. I’ll let you decide.

When I first saw Spoink I assumed it was a normal type Pokemon. However, I was surprised to discover that this little bouncing pig is actually psychic. The pearl on top of its head helps amplify its powers. In fact, if it loses this pearl Spoink becomes less powerful. I assume this means instead of being able to move objects with its mind, it can only do simple card tricks at birthday parties.


Favorite Fan Art

Illustration for article titled Spoink Will Die If It Ever Stops Bouncing
Illustration: DruiDoodlin (DeviantArt)

Life is hard for Spoink. So many things they can’t do. Though I think they could get a hug. Catch them in the air, hug for a moment and then slam them back down. That should work. Come find me Spoink. I’ll help you cross that off your list.

Random Facts

  • Spoink carries around a pearl that it got from a Clamperl and is always looking for a new pearl.
  • Here’s something wild. Bulbapedia thinks Spoink is a reference to The Bible. Here is the fact straight from the site:

“The inspiration for Spoink may be the Biblical phrase “...neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you” from Matthew 7:6. The pearls were supposed to represent wisdom given to an audience who would not appreciate the teachings.”


That might be a bit of stretch, just saying.

Best Comment From Last Week

Wonder if Linoone ever steals a bag to put all his balls in. Some kind of sack-like object.


I’m so happy that nobody made a single joke about testicles last week. Good job everyone!

Kotaku Weekend Editor | Zack Zwiezen is a writer living in Kansas. He has written for GameCritics, USgamer, Kill Screen & Entertainment Fuse.

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Did this half-assed work for Owen’s ‘shop contest years ago.