Linoone Loves Balls

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Linoone!

Linoone Details

Type: Normal

Average Height: 1‘08“

Average Weight: 71.6 lbs.

First Added In Generation III

This ferret-looking Pokemon is the evolved form of Zigzagoon and it seems that after evolving, Linoone has developed a love for balls. Not only balls but any round objects. According to Bulbapedia, this furry creature just can’t get enough balls. It even stashes them in secret spots, so it can, I assume, return to them later and look at them again.

Advertisement

Look, you probably are thinking of some dirty jokes involving balls and stuff. Stop. Don’t you DARE leave any comments referencing any dirty jokes or puns. Linoone isn’t a pervert, you jerks. They just really love balls. Big ones. Small ones. They don’t care. As long as they are round, they are down.

Advertisement

Something else that is interesting about this creature is they can, according to Pokedex entries, run up to 60 MPH. That’s fast! But they can’t turn curves while moving that fast. They can only turn at sharp right angles. This doesn’t make a lot of sense, but it does remind me of the game Snake. In the Pokemon world, Snake exists but is called Linoone.

I wonder if any folks in the Pokemon universe use these Pokemon in underground Linoone races? Maybe dye their hair different colors? Bet on who wins. I would go to these races, assuming the animals are taken care of and given plenty of food, water, rest and balls.

Advertisement

Favorite Fan Art

Illustration: Willow-Pendragon (DeviantArt)
Advertisement

I guess maybe some Zigzagoons have a desire for some round objects? I will say that I was happily surprised by how little ball-related porn I found featuring Linoone. That was nice. Thanks, Pokemon artists.

Random Facts

  • One Linoone developed a bad habit where it would steal any round object it saw. Pokeballs are round. Did it ever steal one of those? If a Pokemon is inside that ball, is that kidnapping? Poke-napping?
  • Hiding in the water won’t save you from Linoone. It will jump full speed into ponds or rivers if it seems prey or, I assume, balls floating in the water.
  • In China, Linoone is named “Zhíchōngxióng” which literally translates into “straight dashing bear.” Accurate.
Advertisement

Best Comment From Last Week

I’ve been a Pokemon fan for like 99% of my life, and I’ve only just now realized after seeing all of your Pokedex entries the past few weeks, that Pokemon are fucking assholes.

-Niceneasy29

This is a journey of discovery for many of us, myself included.

Share This Story

About the author

Zack Zwiezen

Kotaku Weekend Editor | Zack Zwiezen is a writer living in Kansas. He has written for Gamecritics, USgamer, Killscreen and Entertainment Fuse.