Skyrim‘s Famous Intro Gets Remade To Rot Your Brain

The opening moments of The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim have become famous online, leading to plenty of memes and jokes. And now, someone has remixed the iconic intro and added a bunch of Gen Alpha and internet slang, leading to a video that might make you feel really old.

Skyrim, Bethesda’s best-selling open-world RPG, was released all the way back in 2011, a very different and arguably more innocent time for us. There was no TikTok, DLC was still a relatively new concept on consoles, Fortnite didn’t exist, and covid-19 wasn’t a thing. But what if Skyrim launched in 2024? And what if it was written and developed by 13-year-olds? Well, you don’t have to wonder, because YouTuber CJMattis has created a video that presents us with that alternate timeline.

Using AI-generated voices, CJMattis has rewritten the famous intro to Skyrim in which you wake up on a wagon alongside a few other captured prisoners as you all await your execution. Now all the characters use “Gen Alpha Slang,” according to the video’s title.

So instead of saying “Watch your tongue!” when someone in the cart speaks poorly of Ulfric Stormcloak, we get “Check your vibes!” When the person realizes who they are talking to they freak out, saying: “You’re the leader of the rizz-bellion!” At another point, someone asks what gooncave someone is from after he starts to panic and yell out, “No, this is cap. This must be cap.”

Here’s the original Skyrim intro in case you want to compare.

I do think that some of the “Gen Alpha” slang in this video is actually much older internet speak, like ratioed and doxx. And I’m not sure a reference to Twitch streamer Kai Cenat is slang, but hey, what do I know? I’m an old man. Besides, the main point of the video is to rot your brain, and it does a solid job of that.

Although, personally, I don’t mind kids using new words because that’s how this whole language thing works. That’s how this has always worked. The youth develop new words and phrases, their parents and teachers roll their eyes, and then 10 years later those kids—now teens—roll their eyes at the new kids and their fresh slang. Repeat until the heat death of the universe.

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