If you thought the final boss from Blizzard's Diablo III was terrifying, wait until you've got the Prime Evil staring you down in your own living room. Sideshow Collectibles' Diablo polystone statue is truly terrifying.
The second (ignore what I say in the video) of a three-part collaboration with Blizzard Entertainment that began with Arthas from World of Warcraft and ends with the amazing sixth-scale figure of Raynor from StarCraft, Diablo stands more than 20 inches tall from base to pointy back pieces, a grotesquely wonderful rendition of all the evil in the game world embodied in a single being.
As in the game, this is a somewhat more feminine Diablo, with breast plates, a narrow waist and curvaceous legs. Don't get too excited — each of those body parts wants to kill you. If you're a Diablo III player, odds are they already have at least once.
This is not a statue for the weak of heart, nor is it one for the meek of wallet. As with Arthas, Diablo here runs $349.99. Sideshow offers a $70 a month installment plan, though I'm of the mind that if you can't just purchase something smaller than a car outright, maybe you shouldn't purchase it.
First off, let's talk about the box. It's nearly 30 inches tall, and shaped like a PC game box. I could hide my children in it. I haven't yet, but plans are in motion.
Inside the box is a mass quantity of styrofoam — enough to keep evil intact — and the statue itself in several pieces. That's right — Diablo Came In Pieces.
You've got the main figure, with its head and arms. On one of the feet is a power jack, which plugs into the base, a rocky sort of affair with sculpted elements at the bottom.
Under the base is a panel where three batteries go. These make the statue light up, like this:
The rest of the contents consist of the smaller limbs and various spiky protrusions, a pair of breast plates, and the skull poles. I love saying skull poles.
There are no instructions in the box, so you'll have to know what the statue looks like in order to place everything correctly. That's fine. If you purchased a $349.99 statue without knowing what it looked like, you deserve some extra confusion.
Put them all together and what do you get? This thing.
The Design — Statues based on modern are usually either interpreted by a third party or copied directly from an in-game model, often to hilarious effect. For Diablo, Sideshow Collectibles creative director Tom Gilliland and Blizzard cinematics creative director Nick Carpenter collaborated to bring this version of the ultimate evil to life, so I get the feeling this is how Blizzard sees Diablo looking in real life. She (yeah, that's the pronoun I'm going to use here) actually looks kind of sexy, in a hideous and malevolent sort of way. Don't judge me.
The Details — One part dragon, one part living lava flow. Where Diablo isn't covered with scales, her crimson skin is pocked with what looks like rock cooling atop a lava flow. Even before the lights are turned on, the statue looks hot to the touch. It's a level of detail I never would have noticed in the game itself — and not just because I was busy running for my life.
That Glow — Somehow 'icing on the cake' doesn't quite fit here. The statue's light-up gimmick adds an extra dimension of creepy to the piece. Imagine waking up in the middle of the night at your computer desk, and all you can see is this:
That is not a good way to wake up. Also, an awesome way to wake up.
Stability — Though Diablo's pieces fit together well, and some of the more fragile-looking extra bits are secured via magnets, the feeling I get when I transport the statue from once surface to the other is that it's going to fall over at any moment. The main body wobbles slighty, and while it hasn't been enough to cause an accident, it's got me on edge. It doesn't help that the wobbling makes the lights go on and off.
I know, I know — you aren't supposed to walk around with a statue in your hands.
Batteries — Some of Sideshow's other premium statues have come with a power adapter to handle lighting, which makes much more sense for a display piece. You give me a thing that glows, and I would like it to glow all the time, no matter the cost.
The all-new, all-powerful version of Diablo is one of my favorite aspects of the third installment of Blizzard's series, and this is the ultimate evolution of his or her (whatever) combined form. It's the stuff very good bad dreams are made of.
The Diablo Polystone Statue is now available for order at Sideshow Collectibles' website for $349.99. Expected ship date is December 2013.
Update: Sideshow and Jinx are co-sponsoring a giveaway for the Diablo statue here.