Game Masters can be nit-picky sticklers with wands up their butts. It’s a respectable mode for navigating the endless charts and dice rolls and idiosyncratic mechanics of tabletop RPGs. Seriously, I respect you, stickler GMs. Without you, I wouldn’t know the difficulty class for reaching across the table and grabbing a Cheeto. Is that a Dexterity check?

Anyway, last Saturday, an honest, upright Dungeons & Dragons Dungeon Master couldn’t find a by-the-book approach to a comically specific role-playing scenario: drinking a potion underwater, one-handed. Puzzled, he asked a role-playing forum what to do:

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Illustration for article titled Serious iDD /iPlayer Chugs Wine Underwater To Settle Rules Dispute

Ah, come on man, just fudge it! Whatever!

As any good Dungeon Master knows, sometimes you’ve got to wing these fussy scenarios to keep the story moving. A player wants to spin plates on a dire rhino’s horns while it’s moving at approximately 15 feet per second Northeast? While the moon is a waxing gibbous, can the necromancer delight in the blood of ambidextrous dark elves resistant to tree sap if her Charisma modifier is below 3? Chill. Seriously. Let’s just say it’s a Constitution check with a DC of 12, for all of it.

Dungeon Master Eikre, a self-proclaimed “huge dumb nerd,” decided to go the opposite route. Using a bath tub, a bottle of Red Guitar wine and just one thumb, he discerned exactly what mechanic was necessary in this highly specific scenario:

Illustration for article titled Serious iDD /iPlayer Chugs Wine Underwater To Settle Rules Dispute
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Eikre added that there was a strong possibility that those gulps of Red Guitar weren’t the first of the night.

Senior reporter at Kotaku.

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