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Reviews
The First Attack on Titan Movie Stinks
Attack on Titan, of course, is a massively successful—and popular—manga and anime series. This live-action entry is the Japanese film industry’s latest attempt to parlay manga and anime into cinema. Parlay? Sorry, plunder would be more fitting here. The first live-action Attack on Titan film from director Shinji Higuchi is volume one in a two-part…
By Brian Ashcraft Published August 3, 2015 -
ReviewsFinal Fantasy XIV Heavensward Log Three: Dragon Quests
Last night I fell asleep in my computer chair. I vaguely remember my hand slipping from my desk, the mouse crashing to the floor. The fearsome face of a massive white dragon filled my screen, a dialog box at the bottom indicating he was saying something about how my quest to restore relations between his…
By Mike Fahey Published July 26, 2015 -
ReviewsNew Justice League Cartoon Is the Bleakest DC Universe Movie Ever
The versions of Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman who appear in the new animated Justice League film Gods and Monsters are dark. We’ve already seen glimpses, and the full film is indeed full of sick superhero moments. Hell, Superman calls Lois Lane a bitch. You should watch it. In the first ten minutes of Gods…
By Evan Narcisse Published July 23, 2015 -
ReviewsSnacktaku Judges Lay’s 2015 ‘Do Us A Flavor’ Potato Chip Finalists
Gyro. Biscuits and Gravy. Reuben Sandwich. Truffle Fries. The creator of one of these four potato chip flavors will be the million dollar winner of Lay’s annual “Do Us A Flavor” contest. Judging from the past two years, it will not be the one I pick. As a certified (probably) snackologist, the week that Frito-Lay…
By Mike Fahey Published July 18, 2015 -
ReviewsTetris: The Kotaku Review
Like the delightful and oppressive mobile-game galaxy that it summoned, Tetris is both seductive and dispiriting. Alexey Pajitnov’s falling-block puzzler captures the pleasure and the vacuousness of virtual labor. Each game of Tetris contains an interactive “Ozymandias,” a fruitless quest to build something that will outlast the lone and level sands. Look on my tetrominoes,…
By Chris Suellentrop Published July 16, 2015 -
ReviewsXidax X-8 Custom Gaming PC: The Kotaku Review
When the folks at Xidax asked if I wanted to review one of its gaming rigs, I asked them for “something impressive.” So they sent a system with two Nvidia Titan X graphics cards. Also, two Blu-ray burners. I’d not heard much about Utah-based Xidax prior to the company contacting me late last year regarding…
By Mike Fahey Published July 13, 2015 -
ReviewsFinal Fantasy XIV Heavensward Log Two: Identity Crisis
I’d love to be able to report this week that I’ve reached the new level cap and experienced some of the high-end content Final Fantasy XIV’s first expansion has to offer, but first I need to figure out which version of my character I want to be. If Heavensward had introduced its three new adventuring…
By Mike Fahey Published July 12, 2015 -
ReviewsSnacktaku Nibbles On Taco Bell’s Fried Cap’n Crunch Balls
When Taco Bell initially announced its cream-filled Cap’n Crunch Delights, Icompared them to testicles. Now that I have had them in my mouth I must amend that comparison to read “delicious testicles.” Or maybe just toss out the word “testicles” altogether. I’m not a food marketer, I am a snackologist, so it’s not my job…
By Mike Fahey Published July 3, 2015 -
ReviewsBatman: Arkham Knight: The Kotaku Review
If you are so into the Arkham games that you are going to be wounded by learning anything at all about Batman: Arkham Knight—what characters may or may not be in it, for example—please don’t read this review. Go play the game! You will like it, mostly. The spoilers in this review are minor, in…
By Chris Suellentrop Published June 22, 2015 -
ReviewsPizza Hut’s Hot Dog Bites Crust Pizza: The Snacktaku Review
At some point it dawned on Pizza Hut executives that sometimes people don’t want to eat pizza. Affixing foods people might want to eat more than pizza—say, hot dog bites—is not the most elegant solution. After stints in several other countries, the Hot Dog Bites crust pizza from Pizza Hut finally landed on U.S. soil…
By Mike Fahey Published June 19, 2015 -
Reviews
Massive Chalice: The Kotaku Review
If you want to understand Massive Chalice, you need to understand XCOM I don’t mean that lightly. Double Fine’s Massive Chalice has been hugely influenced by Julian Gallop’s seminal 1994 strategy game. It exists as its own game in as much as it has a different name, and you’re controlling people with bows instead of…
By Luke Plunkett Published June 9, 2015 -
ReviewsHeroes Of The Storm: The Kotaku Review
“We’re closing the gap,” the Nova standing next to me shouted through her radio. “Keep your eyes on the prize!” But it was only the character saying that. The person playing Nova had already accepted defeat. We all had. Except for the computer. “It’s over,” one of my teammates typed a moment after Nova tried…
By Yannick LeJacq Published June 4, 2015 -
ReviewsHatred: The Kotaku Review
Last fall, a producer for CBS This Morning called me to talk about the video game Hatred. I had been on CBS a year earlier to teach co-anchor Gayle King how to play Grand Theft Auto V, the biggest entertainment property in the human-discovered universe. This time, instead of talking about a game made by…
By Chris Suellentrop Published June 2, 2015 -
ReviewsOrder Of Battle: Pacific: The Kotaku Review
Panzer Corps is one of the best—and most underrated—strategy games available on the PC. Thing is, it’s a bit old-fashioned. Order of Battle: Pacific is what you get when a studio takes the same basic premise and makes it a little bit more 2015. OoB:P is a turn-based strategy game, played on a map made…
By Luke Plunkett Published June 1, 2015 -
ReviewsSplatoon: The Kotaku Review
Every year, some new game claims to have revolutionized the art of shooting people in the face. Most of the time, it doesn’t feel true. With Splatoon, it does. Splatoon is fresh. Splatoon is exciting. Splatoon makes me forget that I ever had shooter fatigue in the first place, something that I haven’t felt since…
By Patricia Hernandez Published May 28, 2015 -
ReviewsEarthcore Takes Rock-Paper-Scissors To A Dark And Twisted Place
Earth beats Water. Water beats Fire. Fire beats Earth. That’s the basis for mobile fantasy trading card game Earthcore. From there it gets complicated. It’s no Magic: The Gathering, nor is it a Magic-esque game like Hearthstone. While I’m sure more seasoned card game players will be able to rattle off a few similar titles,…
By Mike Fahey Published May 27, 2015 -
ReviewsSunset: The Kotaku Review
Angela Burnes left Baltimore in 1972 looking for freedom. Things would be different in Latin America, she thought. They had to be. But the main character of Sunset quickly finds herself trapped in a country torn apart by civil war. Can doing chores for a rich man help her tear down a military coup? Should…
By Evan Narcisse Published May 26, 2015 -
ReviewsSnacktaku Reviews S’mores Oreos, AKA S’moreos
Remember when you’d go camping as a kid and sit around a campfire roasting marshmallows for s’mores? I don’t, which is why I used a cigarette lighter on a S’mores Oreo instead. Available tomorrow at participating retailers across the country, S’mores Oreo is the latest in Nabisco’s ever-increasing limited-edition attempts at making Oreos taste like…
By Mike Fahey Published May 21, 2015 -
ReviewsSnacktaku Tries Mountain Dew’s Latest Throwback, Dewshine
Mountain Dew’s latest limited edition flavor does not contain alcohol, but it really, really wants to. There’s been some understandable confusion over Dewshine, the crystal clear beverage from PepsiCo’s Mountain Dew brand that’s been sporadically popping up across the country over the past month or so. It comes in four-pack bottles emblazoned with Mountain Dew’s…
By Mike Fahey Published May 20, 2015 -
ReviewsThe Witcher 3: Wild Hunt: The Kotaku Review
Looking back over my last 60 hours with The Witcher 3, I feel a bit like its wandering protagonist: A very attractive man standing alone on a hilltop, looking out over a vast kingdom, unsure where to begin. Just kidding; I look like garbage right now. I’ve spent the last week and a half mostly…
By Kirk Hamilton Published May 19, 2015