After the internet spent months pining and meme-ing, she’s finally here: Lady Dimitrescu—and also Resident Evil Village, I guess. But was she (and, I suppose, the game) worth all the hype and marketing-driven hoopla? On this week’s village- (and Village-) themed episode of Splitscreen, we find out.
To kick off the episode, Ash Parrish, Mike Fahey, and I are joined by Kotaku’s own Ian Walker, who is fresh off reviewing Resident Evil Village. We barrage him with questions both salient and inane, and he gamely answers. Wanna know how big of a part of the game Tall Lady actually is? Well, here you go. Also, if you’re curious about Resident Evil 4 similarities (I know I am), we talk about that at length too.
Next, we move on to a discussion of the best villages in video games, which include a multitude of Legend of Zelda villages, Chrono Cross’ starting village, the Seven Cats Inn from The Witcher 3, and the tanker level from Metal Gear Solid 2 (it counts, according to me and nobody else). Lastly, we put on our imagineering hats to design the ultimate video game village and, in the process, accidentally create Final Fantasy XVII—god-killing included. And god is Lady Dimitrescu, of course, because we had to bring everything full circle.
Get the MP3 here, and check out an excerpt below.
Nathan: I feel like the most important question we can possibly ask—and the one that is probably nearest and dearest to Ash’s heart—is “Big lady: How much she there?”
Ian: That’s a very loaded question. I don’t know how much you might want to know about this, because Ash might want to experience it for herself.
Ash: Don’t spoil me, but at least whet my appetite. Oh god, that sounds so lewd. This is gonna be the lewd podcast, guys. I’m not gonna try. It’s just gonna happen. I’m sorry.
Ian: I will say that of the four main bosses, she is the first one. I’ll let you presuppose from there.
Nathan: Based on that, would you say that it was warranted for Capcom to use her in so much of the game’s marketing? Or will it be a thing where, like, maybe people play the game and say, “Oh, I was expecting to hang out with her more”?
Ian: I would say it’s a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B. She is probably the most unique and prevalent of the main bad guys. She is the most interesting. She has the most fleshed-out backstory, in my opinion. But also she is a very early-game enemy. You dispatch her very quickly.
Fahey: I will say, there’s nothing I like more than a good fleshed-out backstory, if you know what I mean.
Ash: [Laughs in a way that produces a sound I did not know she was capable of making.]
It’s because her butt’s big, y’all. That’s the joke.
Ian: She’s really awesome, though. Resident Evil has this history of un-killable big, scary people that chase you around. She is definitely the most interesting of those. She, like, talks shit. She’s not just saying, “S.T.A.R.S.” and chasing you around. She’s like, “Yo, you suck, and I’m gonna kill you.”
Nathan: So the other question on everybody’s mind—and you don’t have to answer this directly: Does she step on you? Does that occur in the game?
Ian: Good question. See because I’m, like, really good at video games, so she didn’t catch me very often. No, I’m just being an asshole. I want to say that at one moment she might do that if she catches you, but it’s not part of a cutscene or anything.
Ash: I was hoping for...you know how in Fallout, you can get those cinematics where you viciously kill whatever you’re attacking if you land a critical hit or whatever, and it’s just them blowing up? I was wondering if the Lady catches you, you get cutscenes like that—like a different one every time she catches you.
Ian: That would be awesome, but they’re still doing that really funny thing where Ethan doesn’t have a face. Even in the model viewer and artwork viewer, he just does not have a face. So I don’t know how they would do that.
Nathan: I didn’t know that he doesn’t have a face at all!
Ian: Well, he does. When I wrote that blog about how Ethan doesn’t have a face, people were like, “You can see it in the model viewer if you hack the game and look at the models and stuff.” He has a face there, but Capcom is very careful about obscuring his face in official marketing and assets. He’s either headless or is, like, covered in shadow up there. It’s very funny.
Nathan: What’s the point of that?
Fahey: They want to evoke the neighbor from Home Improvement.
Nathan: That’s fair. When I think of survival horror, I think of the idea of living across the street from Tim Allen.
For all that and more, check out the episode. New episodes drop every Friday, and don’t forget to like and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Also, if you feel so inclined, leave a review, and you can always drop us a line at email@example.com if you have questions or to suggest a topic. If you want to yell at us directly, you can reach us on Twitter: Ash is @adashtra, Fahey is @UncleFahey, and Nathan is @Vahn16. See you next week!