Remembering The Witcher's Terrible Phone Game, For Some Reason

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The Witcher series has produced some pretty good games! Let’s not kid ourselves, though, and pretend every Witcher game has been an all-time great. Because that would mean you, like me, had forgotten all about The Witcher: Crimson Trail, released all the way back in 2007.


It was a phone game developed by a third-party studio (Breakpoint), and being a phone game in 2007 meant that it wasn’t a fancy iPhone game like we’d get today. It was instead a terrible Java experience built for old-fashioned phones that was so limited you could only enter one command at a time, because those phone couldn’t support you hitting both left and up on the keys at the same time.

It also had a dogshit framerate and some scrolling effects that would make your eyes explode, but somehow those are only minor concerns next to some massive design missteps.

You can see it in action in this video by minimme below.

Luke Plunkett is a Senior Editor based in Canberra, Australia. He has written a book on cosplay, designed a game about airplanes, and also runs


The spritework isn’t so bad. It could be made into a retro style Metroidvania still!