🥪 👜 Ma’amalade sandwich Your Majesty?

The Queen, a spritely 81 at the time this was made up reported, was said to have “hand-eye co-ordination as good as somebody half her age.” Well, I’m just over half that age, and mine is already going up the spout. And just in case this hasn’t already been awful enough to have recounted to you, the idiotic article concludes, “She showed all the signs of becoming a Nintendo addict.” If you have suffered from Nintendo addiction, please call the number on the bottom of your screen.

But I want to believe it’s true. The British Royal Family (I have no idea if those capitals are right—it’s just safest to assume everything is with that lot) is the most bizarre, anachronistic institution, a remnant of centuries of brutal international oppression, now reduced to profitable tourist attraction. People appear to be fervently in favor of or against it, but I tend to find I don’t have the energy to care either way. But it remains nice to imagine that, inside their castles made of gold, there might be those glimmers of humanity that mean Wii Bowling would reduce them to a tangible, sympathetic family.

Of course, this then got spoiled by a THQ stunt, where they tried to seek attention by attempting to give the Queen a gold-plated Wii. (Miss you, Fahey.) Earlier this year we reported it was up for sale, with it finally changing hands for a total of $36,000. (Somewhat less than the $300,000 the owner had tried to get for it the year before.)