Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Pyukumuku!
Average Height: 1'oo”
Average Weight: 2.6 lbs
First Added In Generation VII
Pyukumuku (double-checks to make sure I spelled that right.) is a squished sphere with pink um... objects sticking out of it. It barely looks like a creature let alone something a kid would want to catch and befriend. Also, here’s a surprise to those of you who didn’t read the headline somehow, it can spit out its organs and punch people with them. Needless to say, based on how it looks and that little factoid, people hate it. And it hates them.
This small, strange Pokemon is coated in a viscous substance that allows it to stay on land for a few days before it dries out. When it finds a spot it likes it eats all the food in that spot. However, once the food runs out, it will still linger at that spot. According to Bulbapedia, it will stay in that precise area until it starves and even then it might stay. We are, it seems, dealing with a lazy idiot. A dangerous combo.
If you touch it spits its guts out and punches you. It won’t move. It looks like shit. And a bunch of them will hang out in crowds on beaches, making it hard to enjoy the sand and the sea.
It’s not surprising that people hate this creature. In fact, people hate this thing so much that removing it has become a part-time job at many beaches. Though some areas of the Pokemon world are filled with so many people willing to toss these gross boogers back into the ocean that nobody needs to pay anyone to do it. It’s just something communities want to do. I don’t blame them.
- The pink spikes look like vibrators or dildos or something like that. Fine. I said it. We were all thinking it. I needed to say it.
- I love the little white puff of fur on its ass(?) as if the person creating this thing was like “Oh shit...this is ugly as sin. Uh, how about a puffy tail!”
- According to Bulbapedia, people use the fluid that this thing is covered in as a moisturizer. So not only do they hate it and love tossing it back into the ocean, but they remove its protective outer layer of mucus too. Okay, I’m starting to come around to Pyukumuku’s side now.
I love the casual legendaries of later games. The whole plot of Sun & Moon hinges on Cosmog and then in Sword & Shield some old lady gives you one for being a good boy.
“I raked up all the leaves in old Ethel’s backyard and she just gave me a stupid legendary Pokemon. I can’t buy a PS5 with that... or can I?”
Previously On Here’s Another Pokemon