Once upon a time there was a video game publisher named Electronic Arts. Electronic Arts was a very big video game publisher with lots of money and friends. Every year, they would release lots and lots of video games, which they would sell for lots and lots more money and friends.
One day, Electronic Arts was ready to launch a Very Big Game! It was called Dead Space 3, and Electronic Arts wanted people to buy it. But how could they make it look as good as possible? Electronic Arts thought and thought. Suddenly, they got it! They would write a Press Release! They would fill it with mystical alchemical ingredients with exotic names like Hyperbole and Cherry-Picked Review Scores.
So Electronic Arts sent out the Press Release to Media and Investors all across the world.
Dead Space 3 Launches Today to Global Critical Acclaim – Heralded as One of the Best Games of This Generation
Dead Space 3 is an International hit having received a 9.0 from Multiplayer.it in Italy, 9.0 from AusGamers in Australia, 8.8 from 3DJuegos.com in Spain and a 9.75 from Game Informer magazine in North America. As a result of these four, the game is launching with an average score of 91, and being raved by Game Informer magazine who said Dead Space 3, '[is] one of the best games of this generation.'
Electronic Arts was happy! The Press Release was a success. They would sell lots of video games and make lots of money and their Investors would all be very happy.
But then, Big Bad Reality came lumbering in with an ugly smile on his face. "I come from the city of Metacriticopolis," he said, "where all of the numbers people assign games live."
"I have a message for you from my city," he continued, in a gruff voice. "You did not get a 91. You got a 79."
And Electronic Arts was heartbroken, and they cried and cried. But they learned a lesson that day: to stop spinning and distorting, because telling the truth looks a lot less ridiculous than trying to skew it just to make yourself look good.
The End.