Politoed Hangs Out In Groups And Shouts All Night

Illustration for article titled Politoed Hangs Out In Groups And Shouts All Night
Illustration: The Pokemon Company

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Politoed!

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Politoed Details

Type: Water

Average Height: 3' 07"

Average Weight: 74.7 lbs

First Added In Generation II


2020 has been a rough year for almost everyone around the world. In these trying and tiring times it can feel like everything is out of your control. It can drive a person insane. It can make you want to go outside and scream your lungs out into the void of empty streets and vacant stores. So Politoed seems like a perfect Pokemon for 2020, as they are known to go out and just scream all night. Very relatable.

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Politoed is a frog-like Pokemon that is one of the final evolutions of Poliwhag. And like real frogs, Politoed enjoys hanging around lakes and rivers. They can also croak and make noises, similar to normal frogs too. However, according to Pokedex entries found on Bulbapedia, Politoed’s croaks sound more like someone shouting. They tend to do this around areas where they are claiming territory.

Illustration for article titled Politoed Hangs Out In Groups And Shouts All Night
Screenshot: The Pokemon Company

If you get a few of these frogs together, they start to shout and yell more, with their voices becoming louder as they join together. Imagine going out to fish at night and while creeping around in the dark you hear some creatures just fucking yelling at the top of their lungs. I’d probably drop my pole and run. And as I ran away I might pass by some Poliwags and Poliwhirls, who are drawn to screams of Politoeds. I assume they arrive and yell back, “Shut up!”

According to one Pokedex entry, a group yelling Politoeds create a noise that sounds angry and “not at all pleasant” but it does mention it’s very distinctive. Word of advice. If you ever go on a singing competition and the judges describe your voice as not pleasant and very distinctive, call your friends or family and tell them to come pick you up. You ain’t going to the next round.

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Favorite Fan Art

Gif: Mayymuu
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Remember this meme? It feels like a decade ago at this point. I looked it up. It was only four years ago. How is that possible? It feels like a lifetime ago.

Random Facts

  • The curly head on top of Politoed’s head isn’t just for show. It has a purpose! The longer and curlier it is, the more respect the frog receives from its friends and peers.
  • While many find the Politoed’s yelling to be nothing more than angry screams, a composer in the Pokemon universe actually created a symphony that was inspired by the screams. The Pokedex entry doesn’t say how it was received by critics. I’m guessing...mixed reviews.
  • Male Politoeds with deeper, louder voices are considered more attractive to female Politoeds. If James Earl Jones was a Politoed he would be set.
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Best Comment From Last Week

“I’m not a Pokémon, I’m a human in this dimension! I’m a human, I tell you! A HUMAN!!!”

But it’s cries could not be heard.

Because it had no mouth.

And it could not scream.

-Cartoonivore

Pitch: A short story where a human from the Pokemon universe falls into a different dimension where hyper-intelligent Pokemon capture humans and make them fight.

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Previously On Here’s Another Pokemon...

Kotaku Weekend Editor | Zack Zwiezen is a writer living in Kansas. He has written for GameCritics, USgamer, Kill Screen & Entertainment Fuse.

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DISCUSSION

I’ve long thought it a good idea that car horns should be your own scream that you have to record when you buy a car. That way, if you’re going to honk in public you have to be ok with your own shriek blaring out of your car.

As a consolation, you can have an auxiliary horn that just gives a tiny ‘hey!’ for when you're behind someone looking at their phone when the light turns green.