There’s no announced twist, no special extra happening, no suggestion we might finally get some closure on the dragging on GO Fest storyline about Professor Willow’s disappearance. Just another generic monthly event, which will presumably have us slog through the exact same tasks as the last 37 of them: catching 10 Starly, evolving a Staravia, and then being rewarded a Staraptor like everyone who’s ever played doesn’t already have them falling out the sides of their phone.

I will be delighted if I have to eat my words about all this, and it turns out the whole thing is a front for a big surprise, finally some sort of payoff for this half-arsed Ultra Beast storyline that has so far been limited to three cities on the whole planet. I’m not holding my breath though.

Once again, for about 0.5% of the population of players, “local” events are taking place for the Community Day, which is great so long as you can see the sea. (Except for Colorado this time! A new in-land event to cover about 11 states!)

Oh, I know, these days only cost a dollar, and whatever, it’s a dumb mobile game. But I genuinely loved playing this game with my son, and it’s so crappy to watch it descend into this mire of obviously terrible decisions and seemingly deliberately boring events. Niantic could have picked any Pokémon it liked. We could have had Goomy, Roggenrola, Rowlet, Litten, Jangmo-o, Timburr, Sewaddle, Tynamo, Lotad...All three-stage evolutions, none ever having had their day.

OK, army of Starly-stans, let’s hear your hate. At least it’s not Pidove I suppose.