Overwatch porn is a damn phenomenon. Our original report on the scene was one of our biggest stories of last year, and “Overwatch” ended up outranking “anal” on Pornhub’s top 20 search terms of 2016. I was curious, though: which heroes are most popular among the porn-seeking masses? Hint: not Bastion.
Pornhub gamely complied with my request for their top Overwatch character searches of last year. Here they are:
1. Tracer: 2,421,530
2. D. Va: 1,544,587
3. Mercy: 1,218,236
4. Widowmaker: 992,994
5. Sombra: 474,390
6. Mei: 311,874
7. Pharah: 213,440
8. Ana: 118,711
9. Symmetra: 32,352
10. Lucio: 22,808
11. Athena: 17,029
12. Reaper: 7,029
13. McCree: 6,423
14. Genji: 3,997
15. Roadhog: 3,661
16. Hanzo: 2,048
17. Soldier: 76: 1,676
18. Winston: 882
19. Reinhardt: 453
20. Bastion: 197
So Tracer handily takes the dick-shaped cake, with D.Va coming in distant second. Lucio is the first dude to appear on the list with a paltry 22,808 searches, because despite an impressively (for a mainstream big-budget game) diverse cast, the Overwatch porn scene is still mostly the domain of straight guys. (Note: On Pornhub and among Overwatch’s SFM porn community, that is. Overwatch’s Tumblr/fic community, which often produces stories and art with erotic/romantic leanings, is much more oriented toward women and LGBTQ folks. Apologies for any confusion!)
Other details of note: Sombra came in fifth even though nobody knew what she looked like until November. Reaper only had a so-so showing despite co-starring in a live-action Brazzers Overwatch porn parody. Genji also did remarkably poorly considering Dat Booty. Junkrat, Torbjorn, Zenyatta, and Zarya didn’t even make the top 2o. And then there’s the strange case of Athena, who is a disembodied AI (not to mention unplayable) and still managed to nearly crack the top ten.
It makes Bastion’s showing all the sadder, to be honest. When will the internet come to its senses and Let Bastion Fuck?