It’s summer, the so-called slow season. Sure, there was some product-related excitement out of Gamescom, where Microsoft held an impressive press conference about upcoming Xbox stuff and where our Kotaku UK pals checked out some games. But most of that’s about the future. Happily, gaming’s present remains plenty interesting, and our team was all over it last week.
- 10 Former Internet Trolls Explain Why They Quit Being Jerks - “I had let myself get too sucked in to the fantasy and lost sight of where the line between reality and delusion really were.” - Reformed Internet troll, explaining themselves to Patricia
- Here Is What Happens Every Time I Try To Play The Witcher 3 - “I am suffering from sidequest paralysis.” - Jason
- Valve Offers Unconditional Refunds On Sketchy Steam Game - “Earlier this week one enterprising player went spelunking in the game’s code and discovered that a few things were missing—namely, all of the game’s seven levels except the first.” - Nathan
- The 24 Best Classic PC Games - “PC gamers can choose from a back catalogue that makes even the most stocked console library look paltry.” - Kirk
- I Played A 24 Cent Steam Game So You Don’t Have To - “According to Steam, I’ve spent 34 minutes with the game. It’s crashed or frozen on me just as many times.” - Patricia
You know what? Let’s do five more!
- Rocket League Is Actually A Sequel To A Game Almost No One Played - “What I find most amusing is how most people talk about how the game ‘came out of nowhere,’ while a lot of us Supersonic vets have been waiting agonizingly long for this game.” - Rocket League gamer Jonathan ‘Fyshokid’ Taylor to Patrick
- Someone Actually Played Through All ofFallout 3 As A Baby - “Playing as a baby is kind of a nuisance...but there are some advantages. For instance, playing as a baby means that your hitbox is hilariously small, and so sometimes certain enemies have difficulty harming you. On the other hand, being a tiny baby does mean that even simple creatures like mole rats seem like giant monsters.” - Patricia
- Twitch Streamer Fakes His Own Joke Swatting, Gets Banned - “I don’t know what to tell you other than: if it offends one person it must be wrong... We have lost the right to comedy.” - The banned streamer’s manager, Cher Gambino, to Yannick
- The First Attack on Titan Movie Stinks - “We shouldn’t be too fussed with moviemakers changing the source material to make the film better. We should be when they make it worse.” - Brian
- Rare Replay: The Kotaku Review - “...one of the most extraordinary bundles to ever hit consoles, and a great meeting place for Nintendo and Xbox loyalists. The collection is full of games that are at times gorgeous and difficult, nearly always weird.” - Me
Headline of the Week: PaciFire Is A Game Were You Shoot Babies But Are Also A Baby
GIF of the Week (via this fantastic post):
Got thoughts about what we published last week or about stories you’d like to see on the site? Let me know.
Top illustration is by Tara Jacoby for Chris’ inspired essay about gaming “vegetables”, games that may not be a lot of fun but are good for us.