Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Metagross!

Metagross Details

Type: Steel/Psychic

Average Height: 5‘ 03"

Average Weight: 2078.7 lbs.

First Added In Generation III

I feel like having multiple hearts makes a lot of sense. Same with having multiple eyes and even ears. But multiple brains? That seems a bit unnecessary and maybe even annoying? Some real-world octopi have smaller brain-like organs in their tentacles, but these aren’t fully functioning brains. But Metagross has not just two brains, but four brains. Four!

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According to Bulbapedia, Metagross is formed when two Metangs combine. Metangs are created when two Bedlums combine. So that is where the four brains come from. In a sense, this is less one creature and more like a hodgepodge collection of four different Pokemon. This means each of these four brains was once part of a separate being before becoming Metagross. So I can’t imagine everything works smoothly among them, at least not at first.

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Think about how hard it is to decide where to eat when you have a group of friends together. Now imagine every decision you make daily, from how fast to walk, when to sleep, how to open your mouth, etc. All of those decisions and more are decided by that group of friends. Forever and ever, until you die. That sounds like Hell.

Metagross also eats in a strange way. It sits upon its prey and uses its large mouth, which is located on its rear, to eat whatever it is sitting on. What is it with Pokemon and their weird-ass situations. Last week and now this week. Will next week bring us a Pokemon that writes letters using its anus or something?

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Favorite Fan Art

Illustration: Not-Fun (Fur Affinity )

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I feel like the word “attempt” is VERY important in this message. But, good job Metagross. I hope your mechanic career proves successful.

Random Facts

  • I might be wrong about this, but I think this might be the heaviest Pokemon I’ve featured on Here’s Another Pokemon? That is a lot of weight to put on top of someone. I can’t imagine Metagross prey lives very long.
  • According to Pokedex entries, Metagross is smarter than a supercomputer and can solve complex calculations quickly. It even can figure out if it is going to win a match before the match is over, which seems useful.
  • Also, I guess if it tucks its leg in it can float...somehow? I assume it has to do with its psychic abilities, but who knows. Maybe having four brains lets you defy gravity?

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Best Comment From Last Week

If Sharpedo was overhunted, I have to imagine at least half the human population died as well trying to kill those things. You just don’t hunt monster that is 10 times as dangerous as a normal shark, has a jet engine for a butt, and has magical water powers and NOT lose 10 to 30 S.S. Minnows per shark.

-InvadingDuck | Zachary D Long

The next live-action Pokemon movie should just be a remake of Jaws, but with Sharpedo instead. Have it set in an era after humanity has thought it defeated them. But one big one returns and is ready to kill everyone unless it can be stopped.