Meet Your New, Official Female Commander Shepard

Illustration for article titled Meet Your New, Official Female Commander Shepard

Mass Effect 3's new female Commander Shepard (at least, the default one used in marketing) has finally been chosen. The winner of the final vote for, of all things, hair colour? The ginger one. My only question?


Why so sad, girl?

(Fun fact: this official piece was drawn by Patryk Olejniczak, who started drawing Mass Effect fan art and is now actually an artist at Bioware working on the series.)

You can contact Luke Plunkett, the author of this post, at You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, and lurking around our #tips page.


Fuck the "fans" who did this. This shouldn't have even been an issue, and BioWare should've stuck to their guns and said "Fuck all of you who are discriminating against the hair color." Instead, they caved in and let the Cheeto-covered nitwits pick their imaginary sex partner's hair so their fap session could be complete.

Gattaca was right. People will discriminate against anything and everything, because people are assholes. Back in high school, one of my best friends got constantly bullied because he had red hair and was a "ginger". He had to deal with people constantly quoting that stupid South Park episode and verbally insulting him every chance they got. I once had enough foolish trust to reveal to a certain group of people that I was severely autistic, and what did they do? They played "Berate the retard" when no one else was around. It didn't matter that my appearance, speech, and intellect matched their own attributes; they still related me to Sloth from Goonies.

Of course, many of us gamers think that we're better than that, but in reality, many of us mirror the assholes that roam the campuses, workplaces, and high schools. I've seen the worst kind of death threats to developers that DARED to change the hair color and clothing of their beloved little Dante to "an emo fag that would probably be better off dead, LOL". I've seen petty, petty insults hurled at reviewers for rating a game one point lower than what would satisfy the user. I've seen long, elaborate essays about how certain developers that are "dumbing down" their favorite game should rot in the deepest circle of hell for ruining their favorite toy series. Newsflash; your petty little piece of content-filled plastic spinning in a bigger piece of plastic isn't anywhere close to being worth a human life.

Congratulations, BioWare. You gave into your pathetic fans. I hope it was worth giving into their temper tantrums when some bigger part of the game comes under fire. Will you change the sexuality of a character because it "isn't right" for a certain character to be gay? Will you keep in a specific unwieldy menu because a "large" group vocalizes how removing it will make the game garbage, even though it may be one of the final blocks keeping players away from your series?

Look, I get pandering to fans TO A POINT. You want them to buy the game, after all. But there should be a clear line in the sand that separates when to give them something and when to say "Screw all these people, I am making this my way, and if they don't like it, they can fuck right off." You need to learn how to balance both, or you'll turn into a joke.