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Madden: It Only Does Family Counseling

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You know, when my friend wanted Madden and a console over his wife's objections, he just bought the thing and lied about it. He didn't concoct some scenario where an all-pro tight end showed up like the magical Madden Fairy.

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Folks, this is "Justin" and if you're thinking that you don't just get surprised by the San Diego Chargers' Antonio Gates and a camera crew on your lawn, like the Prize Patrol with a big-ass check, you're right. An agency for EA Sports solicited "confessions" from a bunch of fans about their passion for Madden NFL. Or former passion, as in Justin's case. He wrote in, saying he loved the game but his wife made him sell his console. That sent Gates, Sony and EA Sports to the rescue.

There is, however, nothing stage-managed about Justin's kid. Touchdown? Sure dad, fine, touchdown!!! That means it's popsicle time, dammit.