Machine-Gun This Truck from the Comfort of Your Computer Desk on Valentine's Day

Out in the middle of the desert, a remote-controlled M249 Squad Automatic Weapon will unload its magazine into Sweet Tooth's iconic ice cream truck from Twisted Metal, releasing on Tuesday for the PlayStation 3. The trigger will be thousands of spacebars from across the Internet, and the finger on one of them can be yours.


The promotional stunt will take place on Tuesday and Wednesday, and the machine gun will fire continuously as long as it can be reloaded and some hapless production assistant can sweep up the brass. More than 100,000 rounds are expected to be fired, according to the site running the spectacle,

According to Wikipedia, the M249 SAW's sustained rate of fire is 50 rounds per minute. If the promoters are going to empty 100,000 rounds, that's at least 33 hours of nonstop firing. I'm guessing there'll be a cigarette break in there, but that's a hell of a lot of bang for the bus.

To get a chance to fire on the truck, you need to sign up through a Facebook app or via Twitter. The promoters will contact you sometime before the shooting starts on Valentine's Day. For more details, see the page.


So how many times will morons be plugging fucking firearms up to the internet until somebody gets shot? This isn't the first time a dumbass has done this shit, and it certainly won't be the last.

Because there is no fucking case precedence on "Man murdered through the internet." Was it the negligence of the fucking dumbasses who gave a robot a gun and let the fucking internet pull the trigger? Was it the kid from 4Chan who decided to shoot the drunk intern who stumbled into the danger zone?

Really, now, we're just taking the rules of properly handling and respecting firearms as weapons and throwing them out the goddamn window at this point. It's one thing to simulate firearms in a video game. It's another thing to try to make a game out of real firearms. They aren't toys, publishers.

Rule 1 of having a gun is never point it at something you don't want dead.

Rule 1 of the internet is never give them something they can abuse.

Rule 1 of robotics is never give a robot a fucking gun.

Also, Rule 1 of zoos is never give the monkey a gun. That sort of applies in the internet context.