Luvdisc Have Giant Orgies That Turn The Ocean Pink

Illustration for article titled Luvdisc Have Giant Orgies That Turn The Ocean Pink

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Luvdisc!

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Luvdisc Details

Type: Water

Average Height: 2' 00"

Average Weight: 19.2 lbs.

First Added In Generation III

If you ever visit the Pokemon universe and come across a large ocean or body of water that seems to be covered in a giant pink mass, be careful. You have just stumbled upon a giant group of Luvdiscs breeding. Technically calling this an orgy is a bit incorrect because Luvdiscs breed through spawning and not humping, as scientists say. But they do group together and breed, so I’m choosing to count that as an orgy. It’s close enough.

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Luvdiscs are heart-shaped creatures who live in shallow warm water. They mostly live in and around coral reefs and are in close proximity with another Pokemon, Corsola. They also get eaten by the bird Pokemon Pelipper. That’s not surprising. I mean look at this thing. This is not a creature that can really put up a fight. It lacks any poison or sharp spikes. It is basically a floating meal for anything with a big enough mouth. It is a miracle they aren’t extinct.

Illustration for article titled Luvdisc Have Giant Orgies That Turn The Ocean Pink

According to Pokedex entries, Luvdiscs are known for finding couples who are in love at beaches and then just swimming up on them. Which is a bit creepy. Why are you stalking people making out, Luvdisc. You pervert. However, many couples see this intrusion as a sign of good luck. It is said that if a couple is approached by a Luvdisc they will have a wonderful relationship that will never end. This belief is so strong that some hotels will release Luvdiscs into their pools and beaches, I guess as a selling point to couples.

“Hey honey, I found a great deal on this hotel that chucks Luvdiscs into the pool every day. They also scoop the deads one out every night!”

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Favorite Fan Art

Illustration for article titled Luvdisc Have Giant Orgies That Turn The Ocean Pink
Illustration: Archir (Fur Affinity )
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I love this piece of fan art for two reasons. Number one: it shows that in the oceans of the Pokemon world, Luvdiscs are easy meals and probably die by the truckload. Reason number two: It paints a creepy picture of how dangerous the seas and oceans in the Pokemon games must actually be. I wouldn’t swim in them.

Random Facts

  • According to a Pokedex entry on Bublapedia, Luvdiscs are sometimes given to significant others as a gift. It doesn’t specify they are kept alive. This all seems a bit dark.
  • Two Luvdisc kissing can actually fly. This newfound ability only lasts for a short amount of time as seen in an episode of the Pokemon anime.
  • Over 75% of Luvdiscs are female.

Best Comment From Last Week

I understand. You found paradise in Alola. You made a good trade, you had good battles. Officer Jenny protected you and there were island challenges. So you didn’t need a friend like me. Now you come and say “Drampa, give me justice.” But you don’t ask with respect. You don’t offer friendship. You don’t even think to call me “Godpa.” You come to my house on the day I eat my berries and you ask me to do arson - for money.

-cecil_banon

Someday, and that day may never come, I’ll call upon you to do a service for me. Maybe burn down a rival bar or something.”

Kotaku Weekend Editor | Zack Zwiezen is a writer living in Kansas. He has written for GameCritics, USgamer, Kill Screen & Entertainment Fuse.

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DISCUSSION

firedragon400
MegaBlastoise

“Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about.”

Except Luvdisc. :P And Quilfish.

The only reason anyone gives a damn about Luvdisc is farming for Heart Scales.

A long, long, LONG time ago, back when Ruby and Sapphire were still brand new, IGN used to have a weekly column spotlighting a Pokémon every Monday-Friday written by the “Pokémon of the Day Chick.” She spotlighted some interesting trivia about the Pokémon before going over a moveset that can be reasonably used in PvP battles. She didn’t only go over fully evolved Pokémon, but also Baby and unevolved Pokémon too. Moreover, if she didn’t like a Pokémon, she REALLY didn’t like a Pokémon. Azurill was one of her pet peeves, as she spent the whole article listing off facts as to why it’s such a stupid Pokémon. Luvdisc was one of those articles. She spent the whole article mocking how ugly Luvdisc was and if she was on the beach with her husband and Luvdisc washed ashore, she’d punt it into some rocks.

Sadly, she eventually was forced to quit the article, and the “Pokémon of the Day” stuff was given over to some dude who once recommended Poison Gas on Drowzee. A reminder if you forgot Poison Gas existed: It’s a move that simply regularly poisons the opponent (not double poisons them like Toxic) but only has 56% accuracy.

Yes, an old IGN article is the most interesting thing about Luvdisc to me. :P