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Lunatone Is Probably An Alien And Has The Ability To Make People Fall Asleep

Illustration for article titled Lunatone Is Probably An Alien And Has The Ability To Make People Fall Asleep
Illustration: Pokemon Company/Bulbapedia (Other)

Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Lunatone!

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Lunatone Details

Type: Rock/Psychic

Average Height: 3' 03"

Average Weight: 370.4 lbs

First Added In Generation III


Last week someone, apparently a hacker of some kind, sent me a report they found on a secret military server. It is over 40 years old! Here’s the entire report.

HOENN OFFICE OF SCIENCE AND RESEARCH

INCIDENT DATE-⬛⬛⬛

CLASSIFIED INTEL REPORT : # JP-11202002-NA-M192003

CLASSIFICATION RATING: OMEGA RUBY

DOCUMENTED BY LEAD RESEARCHER ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛

—————————————————————————————

Dr.⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ created these reports between ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ -⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛

LOG #⬛⬛⬛-⬛

So I have to admit I wasn’t too excited when I heard some soldiers were bringing back something they found. Apparently, they were on patrol when they stumbled upon a meteor crash site. Something inside there spooked them and they came back with a cage and guns.

I was shocked when I entered my lab and saw this thing, which we have named “Lunatone.” It’s about 3 FEET tall and a pale, cream color. The most striking thing about this creature is its shape. It looks like a phase of the moon. No idea what this means. Need to spend more time studying this...thing.

LOG# ⬛⬛⬛-⬛

After a few days of studying this creature, I’ve learned many things. For one, it appears to be able to hover using some kind of invisible energy. It is most likely a similar method employed by Pokemon such as Abra.

More intriguing is the ability the creature has to make living beings fall asleep. This was first discovered by accident. My young intern ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ was checking Lunatone’s vitals and began staring at the creature’s odd face and eyes. Soon, she explained to me afterward, she began feeling incredibly tired and relaxed. A moment later she felt her feet slip out from underneath her and she fell hard to the floor, completely knocked out.

While this incident was alarming, further testing shows that there are no adverse side effects from being put to sleep by the creature. Further study required, but we feel confident that this being might be less dangerous than first feared.

LOG# ⬛⬛⬛-⬛

It seems we were mistaken.

We believed Lunatone to be a peaceful and calm being. However we were wrong.

This morning one of our staff entered the lab and made eye contact with Lunatone. Before they could look away, which is now standard protocol after the sleeping incident, they became fearful of their safety. An intense sense of panic and dread overcame them and they completely froze up. I watched this later via one of our many security cameras. The young man would end up stuck there, frozen in fear, for nearly 10 minutes before another person entered the lab and seemingly disrupted the creatures hold over the frightened man.

Recommend a more secure holding facility as I know fear for the safety and well being of my staff.

And one final note to Gen. ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛:

Next time you find something in a crater, just shoot it and bring me the body.

Favorite Fan Art

Illustration for article titled Lunatone Is Probably An Alien And Has The Ability To Make People Fall Asleep
Illustration: Cortoony (Other)
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So colorful! It also barely looks like a Pokemon in this artwork. It reminds me of those wonderful black felt coloring posters that were so big in the 90s.

Random Facts

  • That wasn’t a real report. Or was it? (It wasn’t.)
  • Lunatone, according to Bulbapedia, is more active during the night and becomes more powerful under a full moon.
  • Lunatone and Solrock have a lot of similarities and are both considered “Meteorite Pokemon.” One is like Dayman and the other is like Nightman.

Best Comment From Last Week

Fun fact: Shiftry isn’t “Wicked” because it’s actually evil, it’s just from Boston.

-Jhelter Skelter

This isn’t true because Shiftry hasn’t mentioned Tom Brady at all.

Previously On Here’s Another Pokemon...

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Here’s Another Pokemon is a weekly look into one Pokemon and how weird, disturbing, silly, or cool it is and why. Catch new entries each weekend and click here to see all of the past Pokemon we have covered.

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Kotaku Weekend Editor | Zack Zwiezen is a writer living in Kansas. He has written for GameCritics, USgamer, Kill Screen & Entertainment Fuse.

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DISCUSSION

Now I want to see every Pokémon described as if it were an SCP. What would Lunatone’s object class be? Euclid? Dangerous but can be contained?