Look Away, Dark Souls Fans. Just Look Away.

GameStop and Bandai Namco would really like you to preorder Dark Souls III. They made a mobile game about it called Slashy Souls. Want to play it? I wouldn’t bother.

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Despite the gif above being pulled from Polygon’s direct feed video of Slashy Souls in action, I did bother to download the free GameStop published iOS and Android game this morning and give it a go. Something felt off from the startup screen.

Illustration for article titled Look Away, Dark Souls Fans. Just Look Away.

The feeling of unease only grew once the title screen loaded.

Illustration for article titled Look Away, Dark Souls Fans. Just Look Away.

The feeling subsided briefly during gameplay. Slashy Souls is a runner game featuring 2D pixel renditions of series villains, traps and equipment. There are no instructions, no on-screen prompts. It’s a figure it out for yourself sort of game.

Illustration for article titled Look Away, Dark Souls Fans. Just Look Away.
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If you want a richer gaming experience with deeper combat and basic tutorials explaining how to do simple things, then maybe you should preorder Dark Souls III at GameStop.

Oh god. They got to me. Help me Luke Plunkett!

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Whew.

So far my favorite part of Slashy Souls was the bit where the game crashed and the screen went all pinkish purple.

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Illustration for article titled Look Away, Dark Souls Fans. Just Look Away.

More pink than anything, I guess.

The rest of the game feels a bit markety.

Illustration for article titled Look Away, Dark Souls Fans. Just Look Away.
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Slashy Souls is now available on iOS and Android. You really shouldn’t.


To contact the author of this post, write to fahey@kotaku.com or find him on Twitter @bunnyspatial.

DISCUSSION

birdbottles
birdbottles

The controls are.... bad. All of my deaths came from the character failing to jump even though I definitely swiped up.