Lightning Returns' saving grace, as it was with the first two games in the series, is its combat system. Rather than packing a party with friends or monsters, Lightning fights (mostly) alone. Instead of assigning her different combat roles, players create custom load outs consisting of a sexy outfit, weapons, shield, and accessories. Three of these can be equipped at a time, each assigned four different skills or spells. Players are free to adhere to standard character class combos — I generally stuck with playing Lighting as a tank, a rogue and a mage-type — or create their own combinations.

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In battle, each of these combinations (called Schemata) can be switched between at will. Each has its own action gauge, which slowly refills when spent. With the right combination of skills and suits, Lightning can unleash a constant barrage of damage and debuffs, taking down even the toughest foes in rapid fashion.

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I have never spent so much time inside a Final Fantasy menu system. I'd say a good ten percent of my initial 30-hour play-through was spent going through outfits — there are so many gorgeous outfits — creating customized builds, optimizing skill sets and adding just the right decorative touches from the massive library of adornments I'd amassed. There is nothing as funny as taking on a powerful boss or participating in a serious cut scene while the main character is wearing a cone-shaped party hat or kitty ears. I just love those little collectibles.

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Collectibles and combat — that's where my enjoyment of Lightning Returns lies. A third 'C' word might be "closure", for as clumsily as the game handles its characters, by the time the credits roll any lingering conflict is put to rest. The ending, while falling back on familiar Japanese role-playing game themes, features what can only be described as a "f**k yeah!" moment, rewarding fans who've stuck around for all of this nonsense for four years. At least the ones who haven't succumbed to World of Warcraft NPC syndrome early.

I don't hate Lightning. I don't love her, either. It wasn't until the very end of Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII that I really felt anything for the character at all. That fleeting glimmer of appreciation and the hours spent playing dress-up death machine are all I have to show for 30 hours of my time. That's not nearly enough.

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Looking for a more positive take? Check out Kotaku East's Richard Eisenbeis' impressions of the Japanese release.