Lady Dimitrescu, otherwise known as Resident Evil Village’s Tall Vampire Lady, is very tall. Capcom confirmed yesterday that she stands at nine feet, six inches tall. That got me thinking: How does she compare to other video game characters?
First off, let’s take a look at the dudes she’ll probably be fighting in Resident Evil Village, Ethan Winters and Chris Redfield. According to the official guides for their respective debuts, both men are a little under six feet. Lady Dimitrescu should have no problem picking them up and throwing them around.
We have a pretty good idea of how tall Mario characters are thanks to a system I like to call the Luigi Penis Scale, or LPS for short. Bowser, one of the biggest characters in the Mushroom Kingdom, is just three feet, 11 inches. King Koopa himself would barely reach Lady Dimitrescu’s knees. Oh, and in case you were wondering, Tall Vampire Lady is about 30.8 Luigi dicks tall. Science!
Halo protagonist Master Chief is a big guy, right? Well, even in his armor, the Spartan super soldier is just seven foot two. That said, the Spartan armor does add about 700 pounds of protection, so Lady Dimitrescu might have to crack that bad boy open like an egg to get at John-117's slightly smaller frame.
Sports games have turned some of the tallest athletes of all time into video game characters, but none of them come close to Lady Dimitrescu. Shaquille O’Neal? Seven foot one. Yao Ming? Seven foot six. Even the tallest NBA player of all time, Gheorghe Mureșan, was only a comparatively miniscule seven foot seven. Get the Tall Vampire Lady a jersey!
When brainstorming tall video game characters, one guy came to mind almost immediately: Street Fighter’s Abigail. The reformed Mad Gear gangster towers over everyone in both Final Fight and Street Fighter V, but it turns out he’s only about eight feet tall. That puts Abigail well above Chris, Shaq, and even Master Chief, but Lady Dimitrescu still has a foot and a half advantage on him.
Sure, Lady Dimitrescu might not be the tallest video game character of all time, not when games like Monster Hunter and Final Fantasy continue to introduce massive creatures for players to battle. But is she the sexiest? That, my friends, is all a matter of opinion, one I’ll let you argue about in the comments while I enjoy the rest of my evening.