Zelda: The Zelda of Zeldas
Play it on: Nintendo Switch
Current goal: Make more bed bridges
Sorry for being Mr. Obvious. Look at me, playing the publisher-made game that came out yesterday. What an iconoclast. But it’s Zelda, and you actually get to be Zelda! Imagine the confusion of aunts everywhere, as they exasperatedly say, “But I thought the boy was called Zelda!” and then just shake their heads in disgust.
What can I add at this point that’s insightful or inciteful about such an industry-saturating game? Um, well, I could tell the truth, I suppose, and admit that while I absolutely intend to play Zelda all weekend because I just spent a fortune on the game, the reality is I’m actually just going to play Balatro on my phone while feeling guilty about it. Let’s face it, we all are.—John Walker