Kotaku 'Shop Contest: The Worst Final Fantasy VII Announcement: Winners!

During last week's PlayStation Experience event, Square Enix announced a Final Fantasy VII port everyone had hoped was the long-awaited Final Fantasy VII HD remaster. I asked our creative community to imagine a worse Final Fantasy announcement. Such horrors they have wrought in my name.

You'll notice this week's winning entry from good old HundredGunner as an "A" on it. That's because this week's winning entry was a tie. HundredGunner's excellent riff on Advanced Warfare is hilarious, but I couldn't resist the simple charm of The Masters Of Unlocking's entry:

Says it all, really.

I've been sifting through entries since early yesterday evening. Now my plan is to take a nap while you folks look through...

This Week's Honorable Mentions

uscg_pa — comment loading, please wait.

mulled0220 — extra points for making up a fictional tablet device.

rallyRays — I said worst announcement, not hippest.

MisterFeeble — because Square Enix MMO announcements are scary.

unsaved_progress — having trouble seeing how this is bad.

AsthmaticHamster — you leave Mystic Quest alone, you monster!

Cuddly-Cereal — I'd still buy it.

BoboTheTeddy — seriously you guys, stop imagining products I would buy in a heartbeat.

Michael L — it's two disappointing things in one!

ThtDamnNerd — well it would sure be disappointing to Sony fans.

UnderhandWriter — because we're making things worse.

MrDeadScott — actively trying to make us cry.

bbilbo1 — for comparing spending real money on Aerith to that one Dragon Age character that could run off wearing your DLC armor.

Anshin — probably the best advice for Final Fantasy VII fans at this point.

Pottman — now with more virtual Steve Buscemi.

MagiCow — again, the contest says "Worst".

Michael Crider — like this.

TestZero — Don't even joke about this.

Ganonthegreat1 — there's just something about this one.

RedFox — doesn't know the difference between worst and best.

McFinnipoop — this one feels like a trap for some reason.

ConallofUlster —Definitely wins the best middle finger award.

Reynoldo Rosa Urbistondo — this is definitely much, much worse.

Marusame — Yay, another tech demo!

JJtoob — PEGGLE!

PuppetPal — but I kinda want this.

Kaiiela_S — most animated middle finger award

osimov — for making an incredibly long post that much longer.

JustWaitingForAMate —but at least it would be confirmed!

Tygore — as the owner of a working 3DO, this pleases me.

Fizziks — if only.

Arch Duke Maxyenko — Kinja sees what you did there.

Sage —the pillow is an excellent touch.

Velduanga — I would kill for a new Ehrgeiz, actually.

Poop — poop indeed. v.v

ktpx349 — Love SOLDIER's new outfits.

skyc2re — this pretty much had to be here.

Barrel_Trollz — Yeah well at least my pants are of uniform length.

GiantBoyDetective — though I'd probably just copy it to DVD.

Garlador — everything sad all at once, all for you.

OmegaJimes — but we'd all buy that DLC anyway.

and of course...

Hundredgunner and...

The Masters Of Unlocking — for the win!