To my knowledge Pumpkin Spice Spam is not a real product, but it very well could be. Nothing is safe. No one is safe. Especially not for this week’s ‘Shop Contest.

Early fall, which is the term I use to describe the bits of the year between when the fall products hit store shelves and actual fall, is a contentious time around the Fahey household. Every time my wife leaves the house she returns hours later gleefully clutching a bag filled with pumpkin spice products. M&M’s, Oreoes—recently she’s been on a pumpkin spice beer kick, which I can only partially protest, as the more she drinks the prettier I get.

I won’t say the pumpkin spice thing has gotten out of hand—we’re years past that point. We’ve tried shaking it with other flavor combinations—caramel apple, candy corn; this year it’s pecan pie—but it just won’t die.

So this ‘Shop Contest harnesses an age-old science fiction trope—if the monster feeds on energy, overfeed it and it explodes. We’ll make everything pumpkin spice until the world can no longer handle the weight and is knocked off of its axis, spinning into the sun. It’s the only way.

So give us your pumpkin spice game characters. Your pumpkin spice sport utility vehicles. Your pumpkin spice burger from McDonald’s. We can take it. Or we can’t, which is the point.

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You have until next Saturday.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Due to the recent redesign the minimum image width is now 800px. You hath been warned.

How To Upload Images — Instructions

1. Create your ‘Shop and save it to your desktop. Images must be at least 800 pixels wide. If they aren’t, you will be playfully spanked.

2. Go to the bottom of this post

3. This brings up a comment window. Click

4. This brings up Click “Choose file” if you’re uploading your ‘shop from your desktop

5. Alternatively, you can upload the ‘Shop to a free image hosting service. I suggest imgur. Then paste the image’s URL into the field that says “Image URL.” Note: this must be the URL of the image itself, not the page where it is displayed. That means the URL ends in .jpg, .gif, .png, whatever.

6. Add editorial commentary and hit submit and your image will load. If it doesn’t, upload the image to imgur and paste the image URL as a comment. I promise I will look at it.

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To contact the author of this post, write to fahey@kotaku.com or find him on Twitter @bunnyspatial.