Yesterday I said that - and not for the usual reasons - when Mom told me my card to Dad was not customarily late but spoiler-alert early.
When the hell is Father's Day? Tomorrow's the second Sunday of June. I thought that was the deal, you got the first Sunday to go "Oh, shit, Father's Day's coming," and then another week to plan your excuse for why you are a disappointment to your family.
Not that I'm complaining. This gives me time to scarf up some E3 shit and mail it home and pretend like I bought it. Here Dad, have a ... Bionic Commando Rearmed 2 tote bag. But there will always be three annual celebrations whose ordination remains a complete and total mystery to me: Easter, Father's Day, and Lobsterfest.
- So, they found that teenage girl whose responsible parents let her try to sail around the world alone. All of these increasingly parsed firsts of exploration, and the inevitable breathless search-and-rescue stories just leave me cold. I'm thinking about what Dan Rather said of the billionaire balloonist, way back in 1998: "Forgive the inelegant language, but fuck Fossett."
- In the World Cup, maybe you've heard of this, but the United States triumphed over England yesterday. The score was 1-1.
- "Teenager Passes Out Marrying Cow He Had Sex With" There's not much I can add to that.