Kids Won't Listen? Sic BOB on 'Em

Parents! Do you lack all authority to control your child's video game playing? Do you lack opposable thumbs, or an appendage suitable for TURNING OFF THE TELEVISION???? Well, fortunately for you, now there's BOB

Yes, BOB takes all the guesswork, temper tantrums, hurt feelings and, you know, parenting out of refereeing your child's time in front of the tube. Now when you tell little Johnny he has only five hours to kill hookers and drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto IV, BOB is there to show you fuckin' mean it!

As the product's website says, "BOB becomes the bad guy in screen time negotiations." That means you can get back to being the cool mom or dad! And kids! Make sure you save your progress every three minutes because YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN BOB'S GONNA LAY DOWN THA LAWWWWW. It's like Russian roulette with gamesaves!

Seriously, there was a kid in Missouri who destroyed a vacuum cleaner in order to play video games. I'm betting at least one BOB's power cord, locked or not, gets introduced to a pair of scissors. AND THEN WHO'S GONNA BE THE BAD GUY????

Can you believe the "Today" show touted this as "fun stuff for summer?" You mean something that deactivates the fun stuff I do in the summer? Honestly, I'm wondering if I can reverse engineer BOB to not shut off my TV. Because I have Netflix and Gamefly rentals piling up while I do stuff like THA LAUNDRY, and DINNER, and CLEANING MY TOILET.

BOB— The Screentime Controller [, hat tip to Richard Blakeley for the video again]

By the way, whenever you see me type all caps, you should imagine a monster trucks voice — Owen


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@PRguitarman:The thing is, there's give and take. Sometimes the parents need to lighten up, sometimes the kid is a fucking demon and is just..broken as hell and all you can do is get em to 18 without a police record or worse. It's something you learn as a parent, but I wagered had your mom lightened up some when you were younger, you might have toned down your rebellion levels and there could have been peace.

Something you'll learn when raising a child is there's almost always signs of things to come. They happen fast sometimes, other times they happen repatedly, but you have to pay attention and..well parent. Using a device to switch off your kid's system isn't going to work and it will lead to a tech war where the kid is in a race with you to win control.

Pretty much active parents with former or current gaming backgrounds won't need this and the typical lazy parent will, with a few children learning how to overcome this device and render it useless. (Protip, most children will always outcome their parents when it comes to learning to use and overcome new tech)