Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.

Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Kotaku EastEast is your slice of Asian internet culture, bringing you the latest talking points from Japan, Korea, China and beyond. Tune in every morning from 4am to 8am.

There's a show on Japanese television called Kansei! Dream House ("It's Finished! Dream House"). On it, architects build dream dwellings for regular folks, who do have to foot the bill. And while most of the houses seem okay, some of them are utterly horrible.

Advertisement

Often, the architects are acting under some sort of constraint. Sometimes, they're working in a small space. Other times, they are trying to appease the residents. And sometimes, they're just awful architects.

Advertisement

The tragic part is that the people who appear on the show are shelling out hundreds of thousands of dollars to have these houses built. And once the dream homes are finished, they are broadcasted across the entire country.

The internet—the cruel, cruel internet—is quick to point out if it thinks the houses look dumb (note that it doesn't always think they do). Take this abnormally thin dream house:

Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.

On 2ch, Japan's largest forum, people began comparing it to a desktop computer. Laughing and pointing ensued.

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.

And then, there was the house that was compared to a barn.

Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Advertisement

Here's a barn.

Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Advertisement

Then there was this house that people began comparing to mushrooms—like out of Super Mario Bros.

Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.

Then, they began comparing it to a public toilet.

Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Advertisement

For reference—you know, in case you've never seen a public toilet.

Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Advertisement

And here is the inside—that is, of the house, not the above toilet.

Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Advertisement

Up there, the people who live here can eat.

Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Advertisement

And then, at night, they can sleep up on a platform, too.

Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Advertisement

Like this.

Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Advertisement

Or this.

Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Advertisement

Or maybe this.

Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Advertisement

The internet is so mean!

The public toilet house is perhaps the most infamous abode from Dream House.

Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Advertisement

This image even popped up online—it's a Photoshop, but it might sum up the owners' feelings should they ever venture into a Dream House thread.

This spring, Dream House rolled out its latest disaster. This house, which cost nearly US$300,000, is supposed to be modern and stylish. But the resulting home is just...odd.

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.

For starters, it's shaped like the letter "E".

Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.

It's also all glass—which isn't so odd, but this house is right on the street. There's no fence!

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.

In the bathroom, you can wave at people in the kitchen. Because. Because. Because. Yeah, that's all I got.

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Advertisement

While families often bathe together or in public in Japan, folks do like privacy! Even though there are curtains, this layout puzzled many people online in Japan.

And now that more and more Japanese people are playing Minecraft, folks have been recreating this dream house in the game, saying things like, "I built my dream house in ten minutes—290,000 bucks!"

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.

Then, of course, blow the house up.

Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Advertisement

And for those who don't play Minecraft, there's always LEGO.

Illustration for article titled Japanese Dream Homes? No, Nightmare Homes the Internet Hates.
Advertisement

If you have a couple hundred grand to burn and you don't mind internet cruelty, Kansei! Dream House is frequently looking for individuals looking to build their nightmare home. I mean, dream home.

Photos: ニュー速, read2ch, 2ch, 話題, 2log-ch, unkar, Rezonator, 2のまとめ, まんはったんニュース2ちゃんねる, Dokiyo, @nagian, @LiLiTeA, @tuti_kure, @nobu_tary

Advertisement

To contact the author of this post, write to bashcraftATkotaku.com or find him on Twitter @Brian_Ashcraft.

Kotaku East is your slice of Asian internet culture, bringing you the latest talking points from Japan, Korea, China and beyond. Tune in every morning from 4am to 8am.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

Thezombiemessia
Thezombiemessia

I liked all of them.

Even the last one...because, you know...curtains and fences are definitely things that can still be bought...

*shrugs*