Inspiring: This Valheim Player Built A Greyling Torture Factory

Illustration for article titled Inspiring: This Valheim Player Built A Greyling Torture Factory
Screenshot: Seraph

If you’ve played even just several seconds of Valheim, you despise Greylings. They’re awful little tree stump goblins who smack you once, then run away with an infuriating spring in their step, like they’ve stolen candy from your pockets. In the game’s early goings, they’re everywhere. One brave player has dedicated a significant amount of time to making them miserable.


Valheim player Seraph’s video, entitled “Greyling Rescue That Will Make You Cry—Emotional Feel-Good Valheim Video,” jokingly apes cloying inspirational Facebook videos to slowly reveal an elaborate Greyling misery engine. It is a funny, well-executed gag featuring frequent cuts to a towering, night-enshrouded lair that any supervillain would be happy to call home.

However, I posit the following: There is no need to be tongue-in-cheek here. I am unironically inspired by what Seraph has built. While no human should ever be imprisoned, Greylings deserve to be trapped in cages surrounded by trophies made of the heads of other Greylings. They deserve to be incessantly attacked by enemies, for once. And yes, they even deserve to work in customer service. Seraph has done something good for the world, and they should be proud.

Also, lmao at “Jimi Hamdrix.”

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Kotaku senior reporter. Beats: Twitch, streaming, PC gaming. Writing a book about streamers tentatively titled "STREAMERS" to be published by Atria/Simon & Schuster in the future.


As Weird Al Yankovic has taught us, the secret to good parody is an absolutely dead-on understanding of the source material.

I know only a little of Valheim—mostly from reading about it on Kotaku—but I’m quite familiar with cute-animal social media bait, and the style is amazingly well-done here.