I'm Getting Really Sick Of People Stealing My Stuff, King Of Thieves

From Zeptolab, makers of the adorable mobile puzzler Cut the Rope comes King of Thieves, an asynchronous multiplayer burglary competition to see can make me angry enough to burst a blood vessel.

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Like a bite-sized Clash of Clans, King of Thieves is a game in which players create a base, set up defenses, and then watch the notification screen as player-after-player waltzes through your carefully-laid traps as if they weren't there, stealing your gems and lowering your rank on the leaderboards.

Illustration for article titled I'm Getting Really Sick Of People Stealing My Stuff, King Of Thieves

Rather than building up a slew of troops and sending them to another player's base to be slaughtered, King of Thieves takes a more approach to ruining other people's days—platforming.

In order to rob another player, you first have to unlock the door to their base, using up your stock of time-replenishing keys in the process. Once in your avatar must navigate the player-placed security system using simple touch-based platforming in order to reach their treasure and claim your prize. It's got a very Super Meat Boy vibe, which I adore.

Illustration for article titled I'm Getting Really Sick Of People Stealing My Stuff, King Of Thieves

While the art direction is 100 percent Cut the Rope, the gameplay is far removed from that relaxing puzzler. Platforming through perilous passageways requires pinpoint accuracy against more advanced players, and less advanced players are hardly worth raiding.

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The overall goal of King of Thieves is to advance up the leaderboards by stealing other people's gems, all the while protecting your gem processing operation from intrusion. Rack up more points than other players before the round resets and its on to the next bracket. Join or create your own guild for some social backup.

Illustration for article titled I'm Getting Really Sick Of People Stealing My Stuff, King Of Thieves
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I love the concept, but several aspects of King of Thieves' design are incredibly frustrating. For one, players who invest real cash in coins have a distinct advantage over other players. They'll be able to break into more opponents' bases more often, upgrade their base faster and generally amass points like a mad point-amassing machine.

Then there's the whole asynchronous multiplayer thing, a lovely concept that's executed in such a way that a wily player can easily keep others from raiding their stash.

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Illustration for article titled I'm Getting Really Sick Of People Stealing My Stuff, King Of Thieves

Player is online. Player is under shield. Player is already under attack—that's a good one. Earlier today as I attempted to log on I got this one:

Illustration for article titled I'm Getting Really Sick Of People Stealing My Stuff, King Of Thieves
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Oh, fuck you.

As I've typed this I've been raided three times by other players. Odds are those other players are still online, and there's nothing I can do to get them back until they aren't. I can only imagine the frustration grows the further I journey up the leaderboards, so why bother?

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If you enjoy competitive multiplayer mobile games but grow tired of the same old Clash of Clans clones, King of Thieves is a breath of fresh air. It just so happens this breath of fresh air really makes me want to hit people.

DISCUSSION

shirrodrichardson
China Lake

There's an art to creating your dungeon. I say that like I've mastered it but I haven't—I get robbed blind. Still it's best to make your dungeon so that 2 traps do most of the killing. Then, have the third so it's in a place to grief someone trying to rob you when they get past the first 2.

The reason for this is after a while the game removes the first trap for a raiding player. If you made your setup that all three traps have to be working in tandem to be efficient then you're boned.