I Consumed and Digested the Xbox E3 2017 Briefing So You Don't Have To

Yesterday Microsoft revealed the Xbox One X, previously known as “Project Scorpio”, inside a sophisticated building somewhere in Los Angeles. I’m older than I was back in the days when I used to sneak my way into these things, so I did what every guy who is almost forty does — I plugged a Rode smartLav+ lavalier microphone into my iPhone 6s Plus and I recorded myself making snippy comments over the press conference.


Uh, actually, I wasn’t as snippy as I presumed I’d be. A lot of stuff impressed me. I think I might buy a 4K TV with HDR because of Forza “4Kza” 7. I want to see the wide color gamut sunshine reflections in the shallow puddles of that damp dawn asphalt. Also, I think if I buy that game, Microsoft is going to buy me a real-life Porsche? Look, I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in six weeks, so I am not 100% sure of that last part.

Look, the press event was two hours long. I boiled it down to twelve minutes. I think you’re getting a bargain here. Check this out before Sony’s event today so you, like me, can Keep Score.

And, heck, I’m going to do this to Sony’s event today as well.

Oh, by the way: hello. I am Tim Rogers. I’ve written articles for Kotaku before. (I wrote The Big Weird Ones.) Now I’m back, full-time, to do, uhh, Video Stuff Like This Right Here. Please like, comment, and subscribe — to meeeee~~~ (by continuing to read this website).

Uh, yes; I’m going to lie down now.

I make videos for Kotaku. I make video games for myself and my friends. I like writing fiction. Someday I will publish a novel. Who knows!



Welcome back Tim!

I am deeply skeptical that the XBOX One X will be able to pull 60fps, 4K resolution, high effect games at 500 dollars without selling at a MASSIVE loss, which is why something doesn’t add up to me.