The Kotaku Slack is currently in shambles because the shortlist for the next James Bond actor has dropped and we all have big feelings about it. Deadline reports that there are at least three actors are in the final stages of being chosen to drive the implausibly tricked-out Aston Martin: Jack Lowden, Callum Turner, and Josh O’Connor. These three chaps:

Jack Lowden is a Scottish actor best known for his recurring role in Slow Horses (an Apple TV show you really should be watching) and for being married to Saoirse Ronan. Callum Turner, a Brit, was unfortunately the leading man in the terminally unsexy “sex purge” movie One Night Only. Finally, Josh O’Connor was the Fleabag-worthy sad, sexy priest Father Jud Duplenticy in the latest Knives Out movie Wake Up Dead Man. He was also in The Crown, giving Prince Charles way too much credit for being actually attractive.

Honestly, I’m unenthused, as are most of my Kotaku colleagues. “I like Jack Lowden but am not enthused about any of them,” said Ethan Gach. Zack Zweizen thinks Amazon MGM Studios fumbled hard because there’s “a perfect Bond option but they won’t use him.” Lewis Parker likes Josh O’Connor and, of the three of them, he’s the one I like the most which unfortunately isn’t very much at all. I know we’re in a “post-woke” reactionary backlash situation, so I understand the entertainment industry is currently legally barred from casting someone who’s not a white dude, but it would have been really nice to get a brown guy in there. Like, aren’t you tired of seeing the same shit?

“Here’s my pick for Bond,” said John Walker. “Rahul Kohli.”

Yeah, somebody like that.

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