Destiny PS4 Is Slick As Hell

Illustration for article titled iDestiny /iPS4 Is Slick As Hell

Here is a very pretty new limited edition PS4 that will ship on September 15 alongside the new expansion for Destiny, a video game about the triumphs and flaws of capitalism.

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Maybe the prettiest PS4 to date? Discuss.

Illustration for article titled iDestiny /iPS4 Is Slick As Hell
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Illustration for article titled iDestiny /iPS4 Is Slick As Hell

I already own a PS4, but this one’s got me really tempted. Says the PlayStation Blog:

The package will include a white Destiny-inspired 500GB Limited Edition PS4 system and a physical copy of Destiny: The Taken King Legendary Edition, which includes Destiny, Expansions I and II, and The Taken King. You’ll also get an upgrade to the Digital Collector’s Edition, which includes the following content: three exotic Guardian class items with XP bonuses, three classic-specific emotes, three armor shaders, as well as the early access weapons pack.

You can reach the author of this post at jason@kotaku.com or on Twitter at @jasonschreier.

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DISCUSSION

If you buy this limited edition Destiny PS4, you’ll also receive all of the content from the beginning up until the Taken King DLC.

NOT ONLY THAT!

If you buy Red Bull, you can receive a code to unlock a unique mission that is included in the Taken King but locked only for those who want to drink carbonated piss water.

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

If you go to Golden Coral and eat 10 pounds of their “fresh” steak, you’ll receive a download code for a new skin for that ugly ass Ghost of yours that hasn’t changed since the day you got Destiny.

HUH? IS IT POSSIBLE? MORE?!!

Yes! If you buy a bulk of Slim Jim from Costco, you will receive a download code for new emote known as “Crop Dust”. It basically smells like what your natural farts smell like after eating a bunch of Slim Jims, but thankfully, since it’s just an emote, no one online will smell your terrible gas.

BUT HOLD ON?! COULD THERE BE MORE?!

Of course! If you can find a Blockbuster Video that hasn’t been demolished yet, Bungie and Activision have hidden 1000 download codes across North America in select “Blockbuster Video” locations to unlock a replay option in the Tower to have you watch your favorite Destiny cutscenes over and over again. Such classics like, “I’m sorry, I just don’t have time to explain why I don’t have time to explain.”, and this feature also includes a no-skip feature, so if you accidentally click one of these videos, FUCK YOU!

No purchase necessary... awww... who are we kidding? PURCHASE EVERYTHING!